-=史小比原创翻译字幕=- -=威威利 2012-09-24 修订=- -=SOTE观影团 2024-01 修订=-
非常荣幸向各位介绍 I'm very honored to introduce
我们今天的客座讲师 our guest lecturer today.
他15年前从这里毕业 He graduated from here about 15 years ago.
并展开一段优异的职场生涯 He's gone on to a fabulous career.
我无法想到哪一个人比他更具资格 I can't think of a single person who's more qualified
或对于你们最近学的最后程序 or more adept at the final procedures
更为熟练 you've been studying lately.
你们已经学习了施行步骤 Now you've learned the science,
你即将看到
一个真实的故事
现在是时候学习其背后的艺术了 now's your chance to learn the art.
学生们，伯尼·提德先生 Students, Mr. Bernie Tiede.
谢谢你，教授 Thank you, Professor.
谢谢！ Thank you.
总是很荣幸受邀回母校 It's always an honor to be asked back
而我回来都很高兴因为… and I do it gladly because I feel...
就算今天我教的只有一件事 if even one thing I say or demonstrate today
能在你们未来从事这份职业时帮到你们 helps you in any way as you embark on your careers,
这样每个人就都能受益了 then everyone will have benefited.
“每个人”，我指的不只是你们，还有哀痛的家属朋友们 You, those who are grieving,
以及逝者 and the deceased.
指甲一定要剪干净 The nails have to be clipped,
修剪美观并让它们充满生气 shaped and brought back to life.
而且你们必须让指甲符合逝者的身份 And you must cast the nails to the person.
你们不会想让一个技师 You wouldn't want a mechanic
有着像空乘一样的指甲吧？ to have the nails of a flight attendant.
对吧？ Would you?
移除掉不需要的鼻子、耳朵及脸部 It is very important to remove any unwanted nasal,
的毛发是非常重要的 ear, or facial hair.
我们必须仔细地 We can never be too vigilant
寻找那些落单的细毛 in the lookout for that one stray rogue hair.
眼睛通常是较小的问题 The eyes are often a minor problem
因为他们通常是睁开的… because they usually want to stay open.
就如同想看这美妙的世界最后一眼 It's almost like they want one last look at this miraculous world.
但只要用一些强力胶… But with some Super Glue...
只要一点点就可以… a little dab will do you...
让他们不再偷看了 and it's no more peeking.
尽管做了防腐措施之后，脸部就固定了 Even though the features have been set during the embalming,
不过你还得再调整 you have to reassess and readjust
因为持续的萎缩和脱水会使表情变形 because of continuing emaciation and dehydration.
至于完美的嘴部表情 Perfect expression of the mouth
应该是放松、自然、又略带微笑的 would be relaxed, natural, with a little bit of a smile.
别让他一脸不高兴 Can't have him looking unhappy to be there.
同时我们必须时时小心顽皮的嘴唇… And we must always be on guard for the mischievous lip drift.
即使露出一丁点的牙齿也是灾难性的 Even the slightest hint of teeth can be disastrous.
你可不想让悲伤的葬礼，变成一场闹剧吧 You cannot have grief tragically become a comedy.
然后，打完底之后 Then, after a foundation
要混合一些按摩霜来防止脱水 mixed with massage cream to prevent dehydration,
还可以平衡上色 even out coloration,
然后打亮 then apply highlights.
千万不要过度化妆 Do not over-cosmetize.
大部分的入殓师，给逝者用了太多的腮红… Most of those who service the deceased apply far too much blush.
请牢记： Just a note to always remember:
上太多的颜色，并不会让死者看起来更栩栩如生 Too much color does not make one look more alive.
还有最后一个细节要处理 The last detail to be managed
那就是逝者的姿势 is the deceased's body position.
左手放在右手之上 Left hand over the right,
靠着肚脐 ，显得舒服 over the umbilicus, in an attitude of ease,
沉静、安详 of repose, of retirement.
头部的姿势同样重要 The position of the head is oh so important.
不能抬头明月光 Neither star gazing
亦不能低头吃便当 nor navel gazing,
而是完美地正对前方 but perfectly centered,
微微向右侧… turned ever so slightly to the right...
来向观礼者致意 in greeting.
现在他化好妆了 He's now been cosmetized,
可以准备穿衣 he's ready to be dressed,
放入棺材了 and casketed.
“伯尼是谁？”
♬ 主爱救我！ ♬ ♪ Love lifted me! ♪
♬ 主爱～～～，救我！ ♬ ♪ Looove lifted meee! ♪
♬ 我曾陷溺罪海中 ♬ ♪ I was sinking deep in sin ♪
♬ 远离了安全港 ♬ ♪ Off on the peaceful shore ♪
♬ 被罪恶压身深重 ♬ ♪ Buried deeply staying within ♪
《伯尼》
♬ 心中痛苦失望 ♬ ♪ Sinking to rise no more ♪
♬ 幸蒙万有大主宰 ♬ ♪ But the master of the sea ♪
♬ 听我哭喊之声 ♬ ♪ Heard my despairing cry ♪
伯尼是个极富魅力的人 Bernie was a very charismatic man.
一个可爱的人 A loving person.
而且他有能力让这个世界，看起来更美好。 And he had the ability to make the world seem kind.
♬ 主爱凝视我 ♬ ♪ Love looked at me ♪
♬ 当我灰心绝望 ♬ ♪ When nothing else could help ♪
♬ 主爱救我 ♬ ♪ Love lifted me ♪
他十分善于交际，是个很有人缘的人 Real good with people, a real people person,
永远都准备伸出他的手，好跟人握手 always had his hand out, ready to shake it,
好像对他来说没有谁是陌生人，因为他总能记得别人的名字 never met a stranger, good with names,
也善于提问 good with questions.
他可以记得你的女儿是否在德州 He could remember if your daughter was at Texas,
以及你儿子在就读德州农工大学 and your son was at A&M.
他会记得那些，并问你有关孩子的事 He'd remember that and he'd ask you questions about those kids.
那会让你觉得很棒！ Just made you feel real good about yourself.
♬ 当我灰心绝望 ♬ ♪ When nothing else could help now ♪
♬ 主爱救我 ♬ ♪ Love lifted me ♪
♬ 当你遇危险灾害 ♬ ♪ Souls in danger Look above ♪
♬ 应当仰望救主 ♬ ♪ Jesus completely saves ♪
♬ 祂有恩典与大爱 ♬ ♪ He will lift you by his love ♪
♬ 必定拯救帮助 ♬ ♪ Out of the angry ways ♪
♬ 祂是海洋大主宰 ♬ ♪ He's the master of the sea ♪
如果你让迦太基镇的人 If the people in Carthage were
列一张他们认为… to make a list of those people
"谁能上天堂"的名单 that they thought would get to heaven,
我可以肯定伯尼，会在那名单的最上面！ I am sure that Bernie would be right at the top of the list.
♬ 主爱救我 ♬ ♪ Love lifted me ♪
♬ 当我灰心绝望 ♬ ♪ When nothing else could help ♪
♬ 主爱救我 ♬ ♪ Love lifted me ♪
他的人格就如同磁铁一般，好吧？ His personality was, just, like, magnetic, okay?
所以人们总是被他所吸引 So people were drawn to him all the time.
也因为那样，他的人格… And because of that, that personality,
从很久以前开始，就使他成为迦太基镇最受欢迎的人物 before too long, he was the most popular man in Carthage.
改编自德州月刊刊登的史基·霍林沃斯的文章
♬ 主爱救我… 主爱救我 ♬ ♪ Love lifted me Love lifted me ♪
♬ 主爱～～，救我！ ♬ ♪ Looove lifted meee ♪
编剧：理查德·林克莱特 史基·霍林沃斯
导演：理查德·林克莱特
迦太基镇在德州东部 Carthage is in east Texas.
它跟德州其他地方完全不一样。 And it's totally different from the rest of Texas,
德州就像有五个不同的州所组成： which could be five different states, actually.
西德州那边是一堆牧场 You got your west Texas out there with a bunch of flat ranches.
再来北边的达拉斯住着，一群开着奔驰车的势利眼 Up north, you got them Dallas snobs with their Mercedes,
然后是休士顿，一路向北到路易斯安那州的海岸 and then you got Houston, the carcinogenic coast
则漂浮着一堆致癌物 all the way up to Louisiana.
接着南边的圣安东尼奥，欧喔 Then down south, San Antonio, uh,
那里是当老德碰上老墨的地方… that's where the Tex meets the Mex.
就像那种叫“Tex-Mex”的食物一样 （一种带有墨西哥风味的美式料理） Like the food.
接下来是德州中央 And then in central Texas,
住着“奥斯汀共和国”的人们 you got the People's Republic of Austin
有一堆不修腿毛的女人和自由派水果蛋糕 （暗指那边全是共和党员） with a bunch of hairy-legged women and liberal fruitcakes.
当然，我忽略了那块狭长部分没介绍 （很多人都忽略那一块），但是… Of course, I left out the panhandle, and a lot of people do, but...
迦太基镇… 这里才是所谓的"南方"开始的地方 Carthage... this is where the south begins.
这里过的是被松树林隔绝于世的纯朴生活 This is life behind the pine curtain.
然…然后，大家都知道，这是个好地方 And, and, and truth be known, it's a good place.
迦太基镇有着很好的声誉… Carthage has such a good reputation
它可是被“全美最棒的小镇，卷二” that it's listed in The Best Small Towns of America, Volume Two
列为德州最棒的小镇呢！ as the best small town in Texas.
没错，就列在第157页。 That's right. Page 157.
噢拜托，大部分的人住迦太基镇，是因为他们在这出生的好不好！ Oh, hell, most people live in Carthage because they were born here.
迦太基镇地下曾埋着世界上，最大的天然气田之一 Carthage sits on what was once one of the biggest gas fields in the world.
40到50年代的淘天然气潮时 Back in the gas boom of the 40s and 50s,
这附近有许多人变得很有钱 a lot of people got rich around here.
嗯…我记得 Well, as I recall,
我们镇上住着许多老人家 we were gonna get a lot of the older people in town
已经差不多要迎接美好的来生了 leaving for the sweet hereafter,
而且我们管理停尸间的人手也有些不足 and we got a little backed up in the cold room,
呃…坦白说，我需要帮助 um... frankly, I was looking for some help.
伯尼一定是那时候看到广告了吧！ Bernie must've seen an ad or something.
他从路易斯安那州打来，而我在电话里就雇用了他… He called from Louisiana and I hired him over the phone,
所以当时也不清楚他是怎样的人 not fully knowing what to expect.
这是我们的接待室 These are our viewing rooms.
哇，看看你装的这些隔板 Oh, look at that, you've got these partitions.
这真好 That's so nice.
所以，你在路易斯安那州，取得殡葬学的副学士学位？ So, you got your associate's degree in Mortuary Science at State?
是的，先生 Yes, sir.
在那里打过美式足球吗？ Play any ball over there?
噢，先生，没有呢 Uh, no no, sir.
我想要专注在学习上 I wanted to concentrate on my studies,
虽然我也一样热爱从事，美式足球之类的活动 as much as I loved football and whatnot.
这是我们的观礼堂 Now here's our sanctuary.
它可以容纳125人 It'll seat one twenty five.
看这些，我喜欢这绿色的长椅 Look at these green benches. I love them.
是呀，我们之前换掉了 Yeah, we changed those.
以前一直都用棕色的 We had them normal brown for so long
本来还有点担心换成绿色的呢… 我也不知道 and I was a little worried about this green. I don't know.
好在没人抱怨 People don't complain.
我… 我也是，我觉得这颜色很棒呢 I... I don't either, I think they're great.
噢，我能雇到他就像中乐透一样 Oh, I hit the jackpot with that guy.
他是我见过最符合资格的年轻人了！ He's the most qualified young man I ever met.
他运送遗体很有一套 He was excellent at removals,
在停尸间里的又像个艺术家… an artist in the embalming room,
这行业没人能像他那么会替遗体做发型呢！ could fix hair like nobody in the business.
在会客室时则把家属接待的很好 Waited well on the families in the morning parlor,
唱歌时有如鸟啼一般悦耳 could sing like a bird.
还能像专业人士一般主持葬礼… He ran a funeral like a professional,
葬礼的各种事务： any aspect of the funeral business:
念悼词，读经文 Eulogizing, scripture reading,
唱歌… 天，他都能做！ singing... man, he could do it.
但他最厉害的地方是… But most of all,
我们要记得弗莱德，我们的朋友 we're gonna remember Fred as our friend.
我们… 如此… 亲密的… 朋友 Our... really... close... friend.
♬ 奇异恩典 ♬ ♪ Amazing grace ♪
♬ 何等甘甜 ♬ ♪ How sweet the sound ♪
♬ 我罪今得 ♬ ♪ That saved a wretch ♪
♬ 赦免 ♬ ♪ Like me ♪
我陪你走到车子 I'll walk you to your car.
可怜的人啊 You poor thing.
这是多么的困难 This is so hard.
这真是太难了 It's just so hard.
你好勇敢 You're very brave.
好了 Here now.
哦 甜心 Oh, honey,
他简直是魔术师 he was a magician.
让我们每个人看起来都很美 He made all of us just look beautiful.
我是说，他可以把你的皱纹都弄不见了！ I mean, he could make your wrinkles all just go away,
而且他会… 如果你有暴牙的话 and he would, if, if you had a overbite,
他还可以让你看起来没那么暴 he'd fix it so it wouldn't be so sticky outie.
而且他还会，嗯… 拿一束白玫瑰 And he would, um...take a bouquet of small white roses
放在你手里 and put it in your hand.
我是说，他真的让每个人看起来很美 I mean, he just made everybody look so beautiful.
除了比较惨的一点是… 你已经死了 Except too bad you were dead.
好像不管我们怎么死的 It seemed like no matter what happened to us,
无论是车祸还是心脏病 whether it was car wrecks or heart attacks
或误吞家里毒药、或上膛的枪走火 or household poisons, or guns left locked and loaded around the house,
或被一小块肉噎死 or choking on a little piece of meat,
最后的最后，他总能让你看起来不赖 in the end, he always made us look good.
噢，不管你点啥歌，他都会唱 Oh, you name the song, he'd sing it.
如果乡巴佬点老福音歌曲，他会唱 If country folks came in requesting an old gospel, he'd sing it.
或者住拖车的废人点乡村乐 Or trailer trash came in requesting Loretta Lynn,
他也会唱 he'd sing that, too.
但和举办葬礼的本事比起来 But as great as Bernie was at performing a service,
他的销售神技甚至更厉害 he was even better at sales.
不好意思让我伸个手，汤普生太太 If you pardon my reach, Mrs. Thompson,
这是一个回忆抽屉 this is a memory drawer.
他从不胡扯，真的相信自己所说的 It wasn't bullshit, he really believed
就是每个微小的细节都很重要 that all those little touches were necessary.
他甚至自己想了个主意： He even came up with this idea:
只要150元加购价… For 150 extra...
"噢，如果我有像鸽子一样的双翅 "Oh, that I had wings like a dove,
我可以朝天飞去并安息。" I would fly away and be at rest."
此时，将棺木降至地面下 At this moment, as the casket descends into the ground,
我们现在释放一只白鸽 we now release a white dove
象征卡拉汉先生的灵魂… symbolizing Mr. Callahan's soul...
前往另一个世界 passing on to the next world,
前往伟大的未知国度 to the mystery of the great beyond.
是的，我同意 Yes, I agree,
这必须预付很大一笔费用 that is a lot of money to put down in advance.
但送别死者有好的、也有不好的方式 But there's a right way and a wrong way to approach this.
他还出主意在墙上悬挂更多十字架 It was his idea to put up more crosses on the wall
及改变灯光 and change the lighting,
让观礼堂更像个教堂，或一个圣地 make it feel more like a church or a sacred place,
让它更不像一个做生意的地方或办公室 less like a business or an office.
请问您想要土葬还是火葬呢？ Were you thinking interment or cremation?
啥，你说什么？ I beg your pardon?
他是说要埋了还是烧了啦 He means buried or burned.
土葬。我们已经选好地了 Buried. We already have the plots.
我好替你高兴 I am so happy for you.
我可以告诉你，本人可是一点也不喜欢火葬 Can I tell you, I am not fond of cremations.
我就是不喜欢有人必须永远住在… I just don't like the idea of someone spending eternity
如汽车旅馆冰桶一样大的空间里 in something the size of a motel ice bucket.
对啊，那么小我搞不好会把你 I'd just soon drop you in a ditch
弄掉在路边呢 by the side of the road.
喂！ Hey.
我只想长话短说嘛 I want to keep it simple.
喔喔，这个… 这个就好了 Yeah, this is... this is fine.
这样啊… - I see. - Yeah.
好，这些合成木和衣服大多是我们出售给郡政府… Now, these composite wood with cloth we sell mostly to the county
来埋葬那些流浪汉、或是穷人的 to bury the unclaimed, the indigent,
而且当然也没有保修 and also no warranty, of course.
保修？ Warranty?
噢，我们比较好的棺木 Oh, with our better caskets,
我们保证你的遗体 we, uh, guarantee that your remains
不会被雨水和讨厌的昆虫侵蚀 will be untouched by rainwater, pesky insects,
加上会挖洞的动物会找食物… burrowing animals searching for food...
还有，您多高呢？ 艾克拉斯先生？ Also, now tall are you, Mr. Eccles?
大约188公分 About 6'2".
那糟了 Oh, dear.
这些廉价的箱子并不是很大 These economy boxes are not very large.
我们可能得做些脚部调整才放得下 We may have to make a leg adjustment to get a proper fit.
脚部调整？ Leg adjustment?
呃，不一定是打折骨头的啦，不过至少… Well, not necessarily break the legs but definitely
- 得把膝盖折起来… - 不！ 不 - bend the feet... - No! No,
我… 我无法接受 I... I won't have it.
那么我会推荐… Then may I suggest...
科林斯式的棺木 the Corinthian.
♬ 照我本相 ♬ ♪ Just as I am ♪
♬ 无善足称 ♬ ♪ Without one ♪
我很确定伯尼是在纽珍先生的葬礼上 I'm pretty sure the first time Bernie met Mrs. Nugent
第一次遇见纽珍太太的 was at the time of Mr. Nugent's funeral.
♬ 替我受惩 ♬ ♪ Was shared for me ♪
♬ 并且召我 ♬ ♪ And that thou be come ♪
她的先生，道恩 Her husband, Dwayne,
只是一个典型的顽固老人 he was just a tough old typical old man.
而且他喜欢只靠握个手，就决定跟这个人做生意 And he liked to do business just a handshake,
他会这样说… He would say things like...
我他妈的跟你保证… I'll guaran-damn-tee yah...
他有点像是个，刚好拥有石油公司的冒险家 He was some kind of exploration guy with a big oil company
而且他在60年代赚了一大堆钱 and he made a whole lot of money back in the 60s.
在生活花费上很节省 He was too tight to spend any of it
却老把钱投资在各种东西上面 but he liked to invest his money in everything he could.
♬ 因你宝血 ♬ ♪ To thee who's blood can cleanse ♪
♬ 除罪可靠 ♬ ♪ Each spot o' land ♪
事实上，他甚至买下一间镇上的银行 As a matter of fact, he even bought a bank here in town.
我记得是在1987年买下的吧！ I believe it was '87, he bought the bank.
他严格地经营那间烂银行 He run that sucker with a hard fist.
只是，我是说，他有点… Just, I mean, he was kinda...
唐突，那种方式… abrupt, and the way...
感谢你 I appreciate it.
他经营企业的方式 The way he done business and stuff.
当然，他死后由太太接手 Of course, then after he died, well, then she took over
接手她先生过去的职位 and she started having a position that he had
如果说她先生只是有点 and if it was said that he was kinda
不喜欢原先银行的经营模式 disliked in the way he did business,
你必须说她真的超讨厌 you'd have to say that she was literally hated,
因为那只老母牛啊 'cause that old heifer,
她的嗜好是拒绝贷款 she turned down loans just for a hobby.
她就是个凶狠讨人厌的老贱人 She was just a mean old hateful bitch.
干嘛？ 我找不到其他更好的形容词咩 Hey. There's just no other way to put it.
她不太友善 She wasn't friendly.
她… 她真的很不友善 She... she really wasn't,
而且大概… 我想有些镇上的人 and she probably...there are people in town, honey,
愿意为了5块钱把她宰了，你知道吗？ that woulda shot her for five dollars, ya know?
我是说，当你住在这么一个小镇时 I mean, when you live in a small town,
你必须对人们友善点 you've got to be friendly and nice to folks.
她会把你从头到屁股整得很惨 She would chew your ass at the drop of a hat.
我是说，她会把你的屁眼整个撕开 I mean, she'd rip you a brand new
撕成全新三房两卫的大屁眼，绝无问题 three bedroom two bath double wide asshole. No problem.
在约翰福音第十四章 In the fourteenth chapter of the book of John,
耶稣说：“你们心里不要忧愁。” Jesus said, "Let not your heart be troubled."
嗯，我听说她跟她姐妹们 Well, I heard that she hadn't talked
已经超过20年没有交谈了 to her sisters in over 20 years
但当她们的母亲过世时 but when the mother died,
她居然可以因为被子和椅子 she was right in there fightin' them
跟她们大吵一架 over quilts and chairs.
你能相信有这种事吗？ Can you believe that?
而且甚至当其中一个姐妹，想要捐地给教堂时 And one of the sisters even wanted to donate
她出面干预了 but she interfered
她不想让教堂拥有那块地 because she didn't want the church to have it.
只因为不喜欢那个牧师 She didn't like that pastor.
她说是因为，他休假时穿着百慕达短裤乱晃 He wore Bermuda shorts on his day off.
朋友和他深爱的人们啊… Friends and loved ones...
镇上的每个人 Everybody in town
都知道纽珍夫妇与儿子小道恩家庭 knew that Mr. And Mrs. Nugent weren't exactly friends
有些交恶 with their son Dwayne Junior and his family.
他是邻镇的物理治疗师，从不拜访他的父母 He was a doctor out in Middleton, almost never came to visit.
他其中一个女儿，还甚至控告自己的祖父母 One of his daughters had actually sued her grandparents
想尝试拿走信托基金的钱 trying to get at the money in that trust.
这让纽珍太太很生气，再也没跟他们说过话 That made her so mad she never spoke to any of them again.
让我们祷告 Let us pray.
玛佳丽·纽珍，她啊… Marjorie Nugent. She was...
不是个好人，而且她鼻子有够高的 not a very nice lady and her nose was so high
高到暴雨时应该会淹死吧！ she'd drown in a rainstorm.
玛吉女士，我认为她是那种… Mrs. Margy, she was the kind of person
一出生就长得老的那种人 that I believe she was born old.
她生来就是那种皱皱的脸 She was just born with this prune face.
那大概就是别人对她的印象吧！ That's pretty much the impression people got from her.
我有个好友，路易 I got a buddy of mine, Louie.
我替这个好人工作过 He's a decent fellow I work for.
纽珍太太有天居然用扫把扁他！ Mrs. Nugent took a broom to his ass one day.
你希望我清洁一下后院吗？ Would you like me to get up and do the back in there?
- 滚开。 - 哇啊！ - Get out. - Ooh.
噢！ Oh.
- 很美的仪式 - 谢谢！ - Beautiful service. - Thank you.
- 星期天见 - 非常感谢你 - I'll see you on Sunday. - Thank you very much.
他对"D-L-O-Ls"很有一套 He was great with the D-L-O-Ls.
那是我们对"小老妇人"的简称 That's what we all called the "dear little old ladies."
所有镇上的寡妇都超爱伯尼的 All the widows in town had crushes on Bernie.
我想说拿条手帕给您 Just thought I'd bring you a hankie.
噢，对，老伯尼 Oh, yeah, old Bernie.
他喜欢对那些老小姐又抱又亲的 He loved to hug and kiss on those older women.
以他的年纪，她们就算能跟他相处一天也算很幸运了啦 At his age now, they were lucky to get the time of day from him.
嗨 Hi.
嗨，纽珍太太，我只是，呃… Hi, Mrs. Nugent, I just, uh...
想让你知道，我刚才想到你 wanted you to know I was thinking about you.
- 这些日子一定很难捱 - 噢，谢谢你 - These times can be hard. - Oh, thank you.
好的 Okay.
我从来没要求他这么做 I never asked him to do this and
他做这些事是没钱可领的 he wasn't getting paid to do it,
但他总是会去拜访那些寡妇 but he would always stop by and check on the widows
在他帮她们的先生们办完葬礼后 after he'd done their husbands' funerals.
他是真的很关心她们 He just really cared about them.
我是说，他真的是个贴心的家伙 I mean, that guy was just a sweet guy,
而且她们就真的爱他到死 and they just loved him to death.
客房服务 Room service.
嗨，我只是再一次的来拜访您，纽珍太太 Hi, I'm just dropping by again, Mrs. Nugent,
来向您致意 to pay my respects.
这次我给你带来一些肥皂 I brought you some soaps
一些泡泡浴球，让你泡澡时放松 and a little bubble bath
还有几个巧克力杯子蛋糕可以当宵夜 and some chocolate cupcakes for a late night snack.
进来吧！ Come in.
噢！ 那… 会是我的荣幸 Oh! That... would be my pleasure.
我高中的时候想当个布道家 In high school I wanted to be an evangelist
去拯救我那些同学的灵魂 to save the souls of my fellow students.
因为他们有很多人那时，都开始抽烟喝酒了 A lot of them were starting to drink and smoke
以及骑摩托车 and ride motorcycles
还有进行婚前性行为之类的 and have premarital sexual experiences and all that.
- 喔，是的 - 给你的，伯尼 - Oh, yes please! - Here you go, Bernie.
谢谢，玛兰达 Thank you, Esmeralda.
当时… When.
玛佳丽女士？ Miss Marjorie?
我有次让四个青少年 One time I got four teenagers
愿意重新把自己奉献给耶稣 to re-dedicate their lives to Jesus,
但最后我了解到我有同样重要的，其他的使命 but eventually I realized I was meant for other equally important things.
噢，拜托，伯尼 Oh, please, Bernie,
你是说处理那些肿胀的尸体吗？ 拜托！ touching all those cold bloated bodies. Please!
你难道不认为，你有其他更重要的使命吗？ Don't you think you were meant to do something more?
不不不不，纽珍太太 No, no, no, no, Mrs. Nugent.
这工作没那么糟 It isn't bad at all.
当我介入时，他们的灵魂已经和主在一起了 Their souls are already with the Lord by the time I'm involved.
我的工作只是以我的方式 It's just my way to serve
向这些人活过的生命致意 and show respect for the lives they led
并安抚那些他们遗留下来的 and comfort all the loved ones
所有爱他们的人 that they leave behind.
好吧！ Well.
而某一天，如果我很幸运的话，很多很多年以后 And some day, if I'm lucky, many many years from now,
我会帮你筹办一场美丽的葬礼… I will give you such a beautiful funeral...
布满来自全东德州的玫瑰 with all the roses in East Texas.
我知道那将是迦太基镇的年度盛事 I know it'll be the event of the season in Carthage.
你知道，我认为伯尼正是在她先生死后 You know, I think that Bernie was the one
将玛佳丽带回教会的那个人 that got Marjorie back to church after her husband died.
好吧，我知道圣经上说 Well, I know the Bible says
耶稣将水变成酒 Jesus turned water into wine,
但上面可没说那是含酒精的酒啊！ but it didn't say liquor store wine.
那一定是不含酒精的酒的啦！ It had to have been non-alcoholic wine,
因为根本没时间让它发酵啊！ because it didn't have time to ferment.
如果耶稣能在水面行走 If Jesus could walk on the water,
只要他想变，不管有没有时间发酵 he could make any kind of wine he wanted to.
什么酒他都能变出来吧！ Fermented or not.
我说的没错吧。 Right on the spot.
早安，女士们 Morning, ladies.
非常抱歉打断你们 Sorry to interrupt.
玛佳丽女士，很高兴今晨有你加入我们 Mrs. Marjorie, it is so good to have you with us this morning.
我只是想稍稍提醒你们一下 I just want to put a bug in your ear now.
你们都知道我们希望能开始建造 Many of you know we're hoping to start construction
新的祈祷边间 on our new prayer wing soon.
嗯 Mmm.
总之，我希望你们有人 Well, I'm hoping I can count on a few of you
可以参加募款大会，好吗？ to join the fundraising committee. Okay?
考虑一下吧，上帝祝福你！ Think about it, now. God bless you.
♬ 这是我信息，我的诗歌 ♬ ♪ This is my story This is my song ♪
♬ 赞美我救主，昼夜唱和 ♬ ♪ Praising my savior All the day long ♪
♬ 这是我信息，我的诗歌 ♬ ♪ This is my story This is my song ♪
♬ 赞美我救主，昼夜唱和 ♬ ♪ Praising my savior All the day long ♪
♬ 完全的顺服，快乐无比 ♬ ♪ Perfect submission Perfect delight ♪
♬ 有福的异象 ，在我心里 ♬ ♪ Visions of rapture Now burst on my sight ♪
♬ 天使带信息，由天而来 ♬ ♪ Angels descending Bring from above ♪
♬ 报明主怜惜，述说主爱 ♬ ♪ Echoes of mercy Whispers of love ♪
♬ 这是我信息，我的诗歌 ♬ ♪ This is my story This is my song ♪
♬ 赞美我救主，昼夜唱和 ♬ ♪ Praising my savior All the day long ♪
喔不，坐我的车吧！ Uh-uh, no, we'll take my car.
不行，我坚持 No, I insist.
别傻了，伯尼 Don't be silly, Bernie.
很好，我们周六下午见 Good, I'll see you Saturday afternoon.
我也… 我也很期待 I'm... I'm looking forward to it, too.
好的，纽珍太太，再见 Okay, Mrs. Nugent, bye.
噢，真是贴心哪 Oh, so sweet.
那是伯尼·提德，葬礼策划助理 That was Bernie Tiede, the assistant funeral director.
他人超好且对我很好 He's very sweet and very nice to me.
实在想不到50年来，有谁对我这么好过了 Can't think of anyone who's been that nice to me in 50 years.
好了，你！ Now, you!
两分钟时间，给我把这些帐户解释清楚！ You've got two minutes to explain these accounts to me.
超过一分钟 Or three minutes from now
我就再找一个股票经纪人了！ I just might get myself another stockbroker.
我可以跟您解释清楚的，玛佳丽女士 I can explain everything, Miss Marjorie.
很简单，他们只是改了财务报表而已 It's a very simple case of them changing their accounting statements.
他们改了报表格式，呃，就是重定… They changed their formatting, it's re-formatted...
…用不同的格式重定格式的意思 in a different format.
听着 Hey, listen.
我不是故意听到你们的对话 I couldn't help but hear the end of that conversation.
我得告诉你，伯尼 I gotta tell you, Bernie,
你大概是这镇上最勇敢的男人吧！ you have got to be about the bravest man in this town.
她没有别人说的那么凶啦 She isn't all that mean like everyone says.
你确定吗？ Now you sure about that?
没有人照顾她呢，唐 Well, she doesn't have anyone, Don.
她非常孤独，需要人陪 She's a very Ionely person. She needs someone.
我已经邀她共度周末了 I've asked her to accompany me this Saturday
去听在沃斯堡举办的范·克莱本钢琴演奏会 to the Van Clyburn Piano Competition in Fort Worth.
好吧，好好玩吧！ Well, have fun.
别忘了她是镇上最有钱的寡妇 Ain't like she's the richest widow in town.
也许她会全额负担旅费呢？ Hell, maybe she'll even pay for everything.
-唐！ 拜托… -还有... - Don! - Hey...
如果她真要全额负担的话 And if she does offer to pay for everything,
点几瓶香槟王吧！ order up a couple of them bottles of Dom Perignon.
把她灌醉的话 You get her liquored up,
说不定你就走运里！ You might get lucky.
别说了，唐！ No, Don!
他真的相信… He sincerely believed that...
施比受更有福 it was better to give than to receive.
好吧，伯尼不太懂管钱 Well, Bernie had a problem with money.
他很慷慨，有些人觉得他有点太大方了 He was generous. Some folks say overly generous.
他是个购物狂 What he was was a buy-aholic.
就是说，当他走进一间店… And, uh... hell, he'd walk into a store,
如果看到什么喜欢的 seen something he liked, he'd buy the store
他会TMD连存货都买光 out of every goddamn item he wanted
然后把东西全部送掉 and give the shit away.
简直疯了吧？ And that's crazy.
但伯尼只想让人们开心 But that Bernie, he liked to make people smile.
我猜 He wanted friends.
他想要朋友接纳他吧！ Acceptance, I guess, is what you call it.
而伯尼会尽全力 And Bernie could do just about anything.
像他会去人家家里贴墙纸 I mean, he could hang wallpaper in people's houses,
我从来没看过别人这么做 and I've never seen any man do this,
他还会帮人做窗帘咧 but he could make curtains for people
还有他甚至是 and he was the head honcho
圣诞节装饰委员会的 for the Chamber of Commerce
商会代表呢 Christmas decorating committee.
那可是迦太基镇的年度大事呢 That's a big thing in Carthage, too, a big thing.
伯尼非常聪明 Bernie was really smart.
他还帮人报税 He helped people do their tax returns, you know,
做财务谘询等… financial counseling...
任何你工作时发生的费用 Anything that you pay for on the job
如果没向公司报帐的话 that the company, the oil company
就可以抵税 doesn't reimburse you for, that's a tax deduction.
所以举例来说，托比，这些工作服 So, for instance, Toby, these work coveralls,
是公司买给你的吗？ did the company provide you with these?
不是，我们得自己买 No, we got to buy our own.
对啦！ 那这就可以抵税 Bingo. That is a tax deduction.
还有你的便当盒 And how about your lunch buckets
工作靴，是公司买的吗？ and your steel toe workboots, they give you those?
- 什么，当然不是咯！ - 我也是这么想 - Why, hell no. - That's what I thought.
- 你在开玩笑吗？ - 并没有 - You kidding me? - Uh-uh.
那就是抵税项目二跟三 That's tax deduction number two and three.
谢谢，赫卡比警长 Thank you, Sheriff Huckabee.
您正在收听的是KGAS电台，来自东德州的心跳声！ You're listening to KGAS, the heartbeat of East Texas.
在我们告诉你本周学校餐厅菜单 Now before we get to the school cafeteria menu,
及谁过结婚周年纪念日之前 and the wedding anniversaries for the week,
让我们欢迎莱格特殡仪馆的伯尼·提德 here's Bernie Tiede from Leggett Funeral Home.
谢谢你，杰瑞 Thank you, Jerry.
你们有些人可能已经知道 As some of you are already aware,
哈维·肯诺先生上周三在短暂的住院后 Mr. Harvey Gunnolds left this world all too soon
突然离开我们了 this past Wednesday after a brief hospital stay.
我以前很喜欢请他上节目 I used to love having him on the air.
每周五大家开收音机，就是为了听听伯尼的声音 I mean, every Friday people would tune in just to hear Bernie.
当他宣读讣告时 And when he did the obituaries,
他不是某人怎样怎样地乱说一通 it wasn't like a so-and-so was survived by so-and-so kind of thing.
他是… 看我还记不记得他是怎么说… It was... let's see if I can remember...
亲爱的肯诺先生遗留下悲恸的家属 Left in sorrow to mourn the passing of the beloved Mr. Gunnolds
他的母亲米玛·肯诺、乔治亚… are Mima Gunnolds, his mother, Georgia...
他悼念的方式让死者“看起来很好” And the way he would make them "look good" in death,
当然，也让他们听起来很好 well, he'd make them sound good, too.
像肯诺是个酒鬼 Like Gunnolds was a drunk,
老是任意跟人起争执 always startin' shit wherever he went.
最后终于在台球室给人宰了 He finally got himself killed in a pool hall.
那种人你要怎么帮他说好话？ Now how do you say something nice about somebody like that?
伯尼就会这么说…“他以…” Well, to Bernie, it was, "He was known..."
他的社交手段及… - for his social engagements and his...
谈话技巧闻名… conversational abilities...
有个小鬼开车去撞树 A kid would wrap his car around a tree
伯尼会说… and with Bernie it was...
但死神偷偷地找上年轻的修特威先生 and yet, death slipped up on young Mr. Shotwell,
轻巧有如薄雾一般 as gentle as a fallen mist.
怎么了？ What happened?
很遗憾通知你 I regret to inform you
你们有四个同学身亡了 that four of your classmates have just been killed.
如果你酒后驾车 Now this is gonna happen to you
也会有这种下场 if you drink and drive.
这是你们想要的吗？ Is this what you want to happen to you?
不管是什么事 It didn't make no difference what it was
或是谁要求的，只要有益于社区 or who ask it, if it was good for the community,
伯尼总会随时 Bernie'd give it all he had.
全力以赴 All the time.
他非常看重对迦太基镇的委身 He was very serious about his commitment to Carthage.
生命是多么的美好 Life is so beautiful,
每一刻都充满奇迹 every moment a miracle,
但却转眼即逝 and yet in a blink it's gone.
太年轻 Too young.
太年轻了！ Too young!
噢，他真的很有办法让大家凝聚在一起 Oh, he really had a way of bringing the community together.
不只是在葬礼或教堂 Not just at the funerals and at the church,
他还策划了一个叫"美化迦太基"的活动 he organized a "Beautify Carthage" campaign,
成功举办了第一个东德州艺术节 and he put on the very first East Texas art festival
邀请所有本地的艺术家 and invited artists from all around the region
共襄盛举 to display their works.
这些都是--？ Are these all...?
不好意思，这些都是用那个… I'm sorry to stop you, are these all done with that...
呃，那叫什么？ the, uh, what's that called?
这些全都用链锯锯的 It's all chain saw.
你怎么办到的？ How do you do that?
我有天起床突然灵光乍现 I wake up in the morning with an idea
就用链锯做了各种东西 and cut away everything that ain't that idea.
我可以再找你谈谈吗？ Can I talk to you at some time?
- 你有名片吗？ - 有啊 - Do you have a card? - Yeah.
我想跟你分享个想法 Because I have an idea I would love to commission.
我不知道你都怎样接单的，但… I don't know if you work that way, but...
哇，你的名片是木制的啊 Look at that card, he put it on a piece of wood.
- 我会打给你的 - 好啊 - I'm gonna call you. - Alright.
- 你太棒了 - 谢谢！ - You're a gem. - Thank you.
- 谢谢！ - 好 Thank you. Okay.
- 再见 - 掰 - See you later. - Bye.
喔对，伯尼到哪都带着她 Oh, yeah, Bernie took her everywhere.
他带她去范·克莱本的钢琴比赛 He took her to the Van Clyburn Competition,
还去职业学校里 took her up to the junior college
看他参与的 to see some of the rehearsals of shows
一些节目排练 that he was working on.
没错，伯尼到哪都带着纽珍太太 Oh, yeah, he always had Mrs. Nugent.
♬ 我从来没有，坠入过情网 ♬ ♪ I've never been in love before ♪
♬ 现在一下子全是，你的身影 ♬ ♪ Now all at once it's you ♪
♬ 永远都是你 ♬ ♪ It's you forever more ♪
♬ 我从来没有，坠入过情网 ♬ ♪ I've never been In love before ♪
♬ 我以为我已，心如止水 ♬ ♪ I thought my heart was safe ♪
他曾看过当地剧院的一场演出 He had come to a production in a local theater,
觉得应该能演得更好 and he thought it could be better
于是他自告奋勇地去帮忙 so he volunteered to help out
不久之后他就成了一场演出的音乐总监 and pretty soon he was the musical director for one show,
另一场演出里还当了回导演 a director in another one,
而且几乎所有的演出里面他都是演员 and an actor in almost all of them.
他很有演戏的天分 He just had a real knack for drama.
♬ 请原谅我，处在无助的阴霾里 ♬ ♪ Please forgive this helpless haze I'm in ♪
♬ 我真的从来没有 ♬ ♪ I've really never been ♪
♬ 坠入过情网 ♬ ♪ In love before ♪
♪♪
♬ 我从来没有，坠入过情网 ♬ ♪ I've never been In love before ♪
♬ 如今我只想要 ♬ ♪ Now all I want to be ♪
“他们在谈恋爱吗？”
我有次看到他们在餐厅 I saw them at a restaurant one time.
一起吃中饭 They was out to lunch together,
然后他倾身吻了她的脸颊 and he reached over and kissed her on the cheek.
但那可不是像你亲家人一样那种吻 But it wasn't a kiss like you give your momma or your grandma.
我看那比较像是情侣间的吻 It was more of a romantic, sexual kiss to me, you know?
甚至还发出呻吟声 He had that graoning sound in the back of his voice.
那有点怪 It was kinda strange.
就看起来不大对劲 It just didn't look right to me.
听说葬礼后不到一周 The word was it wasn't a week after the funeral
帕诺拉郡地方检察官 丹尼·戴维森
纽珍太太就给了伯尼，她先生价值一万二的劳力士表 Mrs. Nugent gave Bernie Mr. Nugent's $ 12,000 Rolex watch.
拜托，为了那么多钱，我敢说他的确亲了她 Hell, for that kinda money, I bet he did kiss her.
在小镇上，人们总是 In a small town, people will always
把人想得最坏 suspect the worst of someone.
但他们也会把人想得最好 But they'll also suspect the best.
所以我们觉得他们只是亲密的同伴 So we just thought they were companions.
有很多人都认为 Look, it was widely assumed
纽珍太太只是 that Mrs. Nugent was paying Bernie
付钱请伯尼陪她 to "accompany her" places.
喔，我推测他们大概 Oh, I'd estimate they spent
一年会花个10万元度假吧！ nearly a hundred thousand a year on vacations.
他们去了俄罗斯、阿卡普尔科（墨西哥）、纽约市 They went to Russia, Acapulco, New York City.
他们还坐游轮去欧洲 They went to Europe on the Queen Mary,
永远坐头等舱、做按摩 always first class, always some spa,
住休闲渡假村、或… some resort, some... sittin' in some
泡温泉之类的 hot spring mineral peeling water bath.
玛吉看起来快乐多了 Margy looked so much better.
你可以看看他们旅游的合照 You see pictures of her on these trips with Bernie.
她做了头发，整个人容光焕发 She had nice hair, she looked good,
她看起来很快乐 she seemed happy,
这些她必须感谢伯尼 and she had Bernie to thank for that.
曾经，玛佳丽即使拥有一切 Marjorie realized she had everything in front of her.
即使她好像可以做任何想做的事 She could do anything she wanted in her life,
钱从来不是问题… and she wanted to travel.
但她想要的是旅行 Money was no object
却没有想要一起旅行的 but unfortunately, she had no friends or family
朋友或家人… that she wanted to travel with.
一直到她遇见伯尼 Until she met Bernie.
嘿，我可以很肯定地告诉你 Hey, I'll tell you one thing for sure.
去贝里斯玩的时候 On that trip to Belize,
他们住同一间房 they stayed in the same room.
不用说 And you know damn right well
他们俩都看见对方只穿内衣的样子了 they saw each other in their underwear.
我还知道 And I know for sure
她去城里时 that when she went to Shreveport,
还买了一些性感内衣呢！ to get some sexy lingerie at Doris' lingerie shop,
她帮自己买了透明睡袍 she got herself a see through nightgown
连胸部都看的一清二楚的那种 that showed her breasts.
我说，饶了我吧！ I mean, give me a break.
她这年纪的女人 What is a woman her age
谁会那样给人看胸部呢？ wanting to do showing her boobs?
真的 Seriously.
够恶心的 Disgusting.
“伯尼是同性恋吗？”
伯尼有点柔弱 Bernie was a little effeminate.
看嘛，一个奔四的未婚男子 I mean, an unmarried man in his late 30s,
老是跟群老人看音乐剧… going to all the musicals with a bunch of old blue-hairs...
喔！ 我听说他是同性恋！ Ah! You know, I heard that he was gay,
但他是个多么敬虔的基督徒啊 but he was such a good Christian man,
大家都想说，这怎么可能呢？ everybody thought, you know, how could that be?
那根本说不通嘛，不可能 That dog don't hunt. Nah.
总有人说伯尼他… There was always talk about Bernie being
有点同性恋倾向，但… a little light in the loafers but...
我认为他只是个独身主义者 I always thought he was celibate.
他长得还不错，镇上有很多女孩子 He was a nice-Iooking man and there were lots of girls in the community
乐意跟他约个会 who would've loved to have a date with him,
但他都没啥兴趣 but he never seemed to show much interest in that.
一直都忙于工作 He stayed busy all the time and was working.
他跟男人握手时 He had a tendency to hold on
握完好长时间还不松手 to another man's hands, touched too long after shaking it,
而且他还有订阅男子健身杂志 and he had a subscription to men's fitness magazine.
如果你见过伯尼·提徳本人就知道 Now if you've ever seen Bernie Tedie, you know darn well
他绝对不是为了要健身才订的 it wasn't for the workout tips.
如果你在镇上见到他 And when you see him around town,
他只要不是在教堂或殡仪馆工作 if he wasn't at the church or at work in the funeral home,
就老穿着那些该死的硬挺花边短裤 he would always be where we these doggone hemmed, starched shorts.
还把腰带弄到肚脐眼上边 With his belt line...above the navel.
还有最明显的地方是：他总穿凉鞋！ And the kicker is he always wore sandals.
我们的救主也都穿凉鞋啊！ Our Lord and Savior always wore sandals
祂也没结婚啊！ and he never married.
而且祂有十二个门徒 And he had 12 disciples
我想他们也没有一个结婚的 and I don't think any of them ever married.
还有使徒保罗光棍一生 And the apostle Paul, he was a lifelong bachelor.
你有听过谁在新约圣经中说… And you never heard anybody in the New Testament
他们是一群同性恋吗？ say that they was a bunch of queers.
没有吧 No.
不，他是个不折不扣的同性恋，我知道这是个事实 No, he had homosexual relations. I know that for a fact.
这儿可不是旧金山 This ain't San Francisco,
所以这里有一堆，“没出柜的”同性恋 so around here we got a lot of "closet homosexuals."
而且我知道至少两个人，跟他有过同志关系 And I know of at least two men that he had relationships with
那俩人是异性恋 that were heterosexual.
以前是 Were.
我为何从事这份工作 Now one of the main things and why I have this job,
以及为何我这么厉害的原因 and why I feel like I'm good at it is,
就是我生性多疑 you see, I'm naturally suspicious.
有时我半夜醒来 Sometimes I find myself waking up in the middle of the night.
我会透过后院 I'll be staring off
望向树林里，然后我… out through the backyard into the woods and I...
我会想着所有发生在外边的 I'll be thinking about all the crime and mayhem
罪恶和暴行 happening out there,
而那时… 那时我会开始，在脑海里拼凑所有线索 and that's... that's when I start putting it together in my mind.
我会阻止罪犯 I stop the criminal.
我等着 看着 I wait, I watch,
听着 and I listen.
当时机成熟… When the time's just right...
就是我出击的时候！ That's when I pounce.
没有什么比 Ain't nothing I enjoy more
罪犯上钩时的挣扎声 than the sound of a criminal that's just wriggling
更让我过瘾的了 on the end of my hook, hey, you know,
而且人民会希望检察官好好工作 and folks like to see the D.A. at work.
没有哪个县会雇用一名 But no county ain't gonna hire a D.A.
不知道这是个全天候工作的检察官 Who doesn't know that this is a full time job.
全．天．候 All the time.
丹尼·巴克很擅长的一件事 One thing Danny Bucks is good at
就是让自己连任 is getting Danny Buck re-elected.
他让自己在报纸上落脸 And he gets his little photo ops in the paper,
逮一些做赝品的、偷车的 busting up the copper rings or the hub-cap rings,
或制毒的… 不过在没事做的时候 or the meth labs, but in slow times,
丹尼就会挖出些破事来 Danny Buck be out digging up some shit.
让我给你们看个东西 Let me show y'all something.
你们会爱死的 You're gonna love this.
我管它叫“不幸轮盘” I call this my wheel of misfortune.
是这样的 Now what I've done is, I've assigned numbers
我把这附近的每个毒贩编号 to all the suspected drug dealers around here.
如果转到的是你的号码 If your number comes up,
8号，丹尼·巴克要先来逮你了！ number eight, Danny Buck's come to get
你们这些贩毒仔一个也别想跑 And not one of you dope pushers is gonna get away.
一．个．也．别．想．跑 Not one.
我最得意的手法是 The best trick I ever pulled
有次我一口气逮捕了，5个积欠赡养费的混蛋父亲 is the time I arrested five deadbeat dads
同时逮补喔 all at the same time.
是这样的，开始一直找不到他们 You see, I was having trouble finding them.
后来，我想了个招，利用当年的摸车比赛 Actually, what I did is I used the annual hands on a hardbody contest
就是79年道奇经销商办的那次 the one at the Dodge dealership on 79?
参赛者把手放在皮卡上 People were standing around for days and days
站了一天又一天 with their hands on the pick up truck,
坚持到最后没把手拿开的人赢走卡车 and the last one with their hand on the truck wins it.
我的做法是 What I did, is I got a rig
让组织者邀请那五个混蛋参赛 where they invited these five dads who aren't paying child support.
我想说那五个小气鬼 I figured the idea of a new truck
一定会被那台新卡车引出来 might get 'em to come out of hiding.
这招有用吗？ Did it work?
当然咯！ You bet your butt it did.
嘿，抓住他！ Hey, get him!
我想说我们来投资一些科技股吧！ I think we'd like to move some out of financials
也许买些苹果的股票？ and into technologies, maybe a little more Apple.
另外我们还想买1000股的汤米服饰 And we'd like to get a thousand shares of Tommy Hilfiger.
我有听到一些买股的… I got a sneak-a-peek at the new line for the...
等等，你说“我们”是啥意思啊？伯尼？ What is this "we'd like to" part, Bernie?
你哪里懂股票和投资了？ What do you know about stocks and investing?
让我提醒你：你的工作只是埋死人 Let me remind you: You bury people.
你是殡葬业者，不是财务谘询师！ You're a mortician. You're not an investment advisor.
现在没人用“殡葬业者”这个词了，洛伊德 No one uses the word "mortician" anymore, Lloyd.
是“葬礼策划” It's "funeral director."
你的话只是葬礼策划“助理” Or in your case assistant funeral director.
我们只是觉得你帮玛佳丽女士，做的投资有点保守罢了 We just thought you were being a little conservative with Marjorie's account.
喂？ 洛伊德？ Hello? Lloyd?
他居然挂我电话 He hung up. Whoa.
不 No.
他只是皮在痒 Something crawled up his butt.
洛伊德 This is Lloyd.
洛伊德！ 如果你再敢跟伯尼，那样说话的话 Lloyd! Don't you ever, ever speak to Bernie like that again,
我就找别人了 or I'll be moving my account.
对不起，我只是有点沮丧… I'm sorry, I got a little frustrated and I...
觉得抱歉有屁用，别那样做就对了！ Don't be sorry, just don't do it.
嗯 Well.
我有一个儿子四个孙子 I have a son and four grandchildren
有些还威胁要告我 some of whom have threatened to sue me
有些还真的告了 and have actually sued me
他们没一个来看过我或表示关心 and none of them visit or appear to care about me.
而且我儿子作为一名医生 Also my son is a physician
有足够能力照顾他的家庭 and amply provides for his family.
因为上述原因 For the reasons stated,
我决定将他们从我的遗产受益人中剔除 I am not including them as beneficiaries under my will.
我将把所有的遗产 I give, devise and bequeath my entire estate,
不动产及私人财产 real, personal and mixed,
全数留给伯恩哈特·提德二世 onto Bernhardt Tiede the Second, outright and simple.
敬人生 To life.
噢，谢谢你 Oh, thank you, Crystal.
请慢用 Here you go.
干杯 Cheers.
我的药，快给我药，伯尼 Give pills, give me my pills, Bernie.
什么？ Pardon me?
你知道我吃饭前必须吃药 You know I have to take my pills before eating.
你应该要带着它们啊！ You were supposed to bring them,
所以药在哪？ 快给我 so where are they? Give them to me.
对不起，玛佳丽… 这一定是有什么误会 I'm sorry, Marjorie, there must have been a little misunderstanding.
不过我很乐意去你房间拿 I'd be happy to go to your room and get them.
很好，快去啊 Excellent!
好的 Okay.
她把他的名字加入每个户头 She put his name on all her bank accounts,
还给了他张委任书 and then she gave him a power of attorney,
代表他可以任意支用她的钱 which meant he could spend her money any way he wanted to.
而他的确如此 And he did.
两年后...
她已经在线上等一阵子了 Been on the line for a while.
都不肯挂 Won't let go.
你好，玛佳丽，我… Hello, Marjorie, I...
对不起对不起，我以为有告诉过你 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought I told you
我今天早上要来开飞机 what I was doing this morning.
呃，你知道的 Well, I don't have my phone on
我开飞机时没法开手机 while I am up there. You know that.
我确定我们不会晚吃午餐的 I'm sure we won't be late for lunch,
不过我这就过去了 but I'm on my way.
好的，再见 Okay. Bye-bye.
- 唉，这就是我的人生啊 - 好吧！ - This is my life. - Okay.
后来有一天 Somewhere along the way,
纽珍太太说服伯尼，把殡仪馆的工作当成兼职 Mrs. Nugent convinced Bernie to go to part time at the funeral home
改成全职替她工作 and go working full-time for her.
她则辞退了所有帮佣的 She got rid of all the usual help
变成只有伯尼伺候她 and it was just Bernie.
他成为她的经纪人、旅伴 He was her business manager, travel companion,
仆人 her servant.
伯尼！ 你几个钟头前就该到了！ Bernie! You should've been here hours ago!
可还有时间啊！ 我们不会迟到的，玛佳丽 But we still have time. We'll be there on time, Marjorie.
我本来要你去洗衣店拿我的裙子 I need you to go by the cleaners and pick up my dress.
现在我得穿别的了啦！ Now I've got to wear something else.
你整天玩那些该死的飞机，伯尼 You fooling around with those damn planes all the time, Bernie.
告诉过你我有天会成为… I told you I was going to be...
好啦好啦！ 那对我又有什么好处？ Okay, you told me. What good does that do me?
事情有变，我需要你在这啊！ Things change and I needed you here.
而且因为你老是不带手机 And because you never leave your cell phone on all the time,
给你一个寻呼机 this is a pager.
你必须一直带着它，可以吧？ You're going to wear it on your person at all times, correct?
- 可以… - 现在去找件裙子给我 - Correct. - Go get me a dress.
- 好 - 快一点… 快一点！ - Okay. - Hurry. Hurry.
快一点… 快一点… 快一点… 快一点！ Hurry, hurry. Hurry, hurry.
喔 Ugh.
拜托，玛佳丽… Marjorie, please.
我可以理解有些食物，像炸鸡排之类的 I can understand chewing each bite of some food
需要咀嚼25次再吞 25 times like chicken fried steak,
但我不认为连炸豆子 but I don't think you have to chew
都要嚼那么多次吧！ your refried beans that many times.
这根本不合理嘛 It doesn't really make sense.
根本是为你的下巴增加，不必要的工作量啊 It's unnecessary additional work for your jaws.
想想你可怜的颚肌吧！ Think of your poor TMJ muscle.
这不可能对它有益吧！ It can't be good for it.
这很没效率，好好想想吧！ It's inefficient. Think about it.
你这样快把我逼疯了，请停下来好不好 You this drives me crazy. Please stop.
这就像指甲刮过黑板的噪音 This is like nails on a chalkboard.
好吧，你嚼吧！ 你嚼一整天算了 Okay, go ahead, chew like that, chew like that all day.
啊！ Ah!
伯尼人太好了 Well, Bernie was so nice,
非常包容他人 so accommodating,
总是不愿伤害别人 so willing to keep from hurting other people's feelings,
他就是没法叫别人“滚一边去吧” he just couldn't tell anybody to piss off.
伯尼，我还在等喔 Bernie, I'm still waiting.
你是要听“人生如戏” Would you rather hear "Drama in Real Life?"
“炎夏种番茄妙方”，还是… "Tips for Better Summer Tomatoes" or...
炎夏种番茄妙方 Tips for Better Summer Tomatoes.
"最棒的夏日番茄…" "The best summer tomatoes...
她需索无度 She was demanding,
克里夫顿·“好胜”·福尔摩斯 东德州传奇辩护律师
高高在上 不可一世 condescending,
甚至十分骄纵 even conniving.
而且她刻意让他成为一个依赖者 And she had intentionally put him in a dependent position.
她忌妒他自己的时间 She was jealous of his time,
他的社会地位 envious of his community status,
而且… 对他过度慷慨 and... overly generous to him.
就怕他离开 So as to make him stick around.
所以你就带人在船上四处看看？ So you just show people around the boat?
到处都看？ All around the boat?
对啊，我当导游 Yeah, I give tours.
我还在船长室当酒保 And I bartend in the captain's cabin.
- 喔，你有好多份工作 - 对啊对啊 - Oh, you have a lot of jobs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
就像万金油一样 You're a jack of all trades.
这其实不错，赚得多 It's good though. The money's good.
不错嘛，你还可以全世界走透透 Not bad. And you get to see the world, right?
- 对啊 - 真酷 - Yeah, we do. - That's cool.
- 对啊 - 玛佳丽？ - Yeah. - Marjorie?
这是在船上工作的凯文 This is Kevin who works here.
你好，纽珍太太 Hello, Mrs. Nugent.
伯尼，我们已经跟那边约好了 Bernie, we're scheduled to be there now.
- 我好了 - 别动 - I'm ready. Okay. - Be still.
好了，你要我帮你拿吗？ Okay. Do you want me to get this?
- 少废话 - 好… 没问题 - Stop asking questions. - Okay, you got it.
- 谢谢！ - 好 - Thank you. - Good, good.
- 走吧！ - 谢谢！ - Let's go. - Thank you.
- 走吧走吧走吧！ - 很高兴跟你说话 - Let's go, let's go, let's go. - Nice talking to you.
- 一会见，伯尼 - 好，再见 - See you, Bernie. - Yeah. Okay, bye-bye.
好，看镜头 Okay, you want to look right down the lens
说"埃及" and say "Egypt."
埃及～ Egypt.
好了 Okay.
好，我们来练习，当银行马车到达的那一幕 Okay, everybody, let's work on the arrival of the Wells Fargo Wagon.
马车上载满我们所有的乐器 This wagon has all of our instruments on it
所以我们非常开心… so we're very excited about it...
欧-喔，等一下 Uh-oh, hold on.
呃… 所以我要你们每拍间都要停顿 Grrr. So I want to have a pulse on each beat,
而且每个人要做出眺望地平线的样子… and I want to have everybody's eyeline on the horizon
然后做这个动作，有些人做另一个动作 going like this and I want some people to do this
因为如果每个人都做一样的话 because everyone's doing this right now.
看起来太死板了，对吧？ It's looking a little too uniform, okay?
一、二、三、四、喔！ One, two, three, four and oh!
- 噢！ 对了 - 好！ And ho! That's it. Okay.
很好，现在放松姿势 Very good, relax the pose.
这很快，等我一下 This is only going to take a second.
如果不回电，她会让我生不如死 If I don't call her, she will give me living hell.
哈喽，玛佳丽，你好吗？ Hello, Marjorie, how are you?
嗯嗯，要我帮你带点什么吗？ Mm-hm. Can I bring you anything?
可以等到彩排后吗？ Can it wait till right after rehearsal?
大概还要40分… We got another 40...
好，我马上到 Okay, right away. I'll be there.
再见 Bye-bye.
你可以接手吗？ Can you clean this up?
我得闪人了，谢谢！ I have to go right away. Thank you.
怎么了，卡尔？ How's it going, Carl?
纽珍太太刚把我炒了 Old Mrs. Nugent just fired me.
发生什么事了？ What happened?
她说我偷了一台除草机 She said I stole a lawn mower.
还说我偷藏在黑鬼村里 Snuck it out to my place in Niggertown.
什么？ What?
她怎么会那么想！ Why does she think that?
喔，她看到我把机器带走 Oh, she saw me leave with it,
可我是想把它拿去修啊！ I was taking it to get it fixed.
让我跟她谈谈吧，卡尔？ Let me talk to her, okay Carl?
别太快找新工作啊！ Don't go getting a new job just yet.
随你，可是休想我回去 Okay. But I ain't going back up there.
反正今天我是不回去了 Not today anyway.
我不怪你 I don't blame you.
我会搞清楚，然后再打给你 I will get to the bottom of it and I will call you back. Okay?
非常抱歉 So sorry about this.
好 Alright.
喔你想出现就出现，真方便啊你 Oh, you just pop up whenever it's convenient for you!
你爽的时候才来就对了 Just when you think it's fine for you,
好吧，算了，算了，算了，算了！ you come! Well, fine fine, fine, fine!
卡尔怎么了？ What happened with Carl?
我把他炒鱿鱼了！他偷东西被我逮个正着！ I got rid of him! I caught him red handed!
天知道他还偷了我什么啊，伯尼！ God knows what else he's been stealing from me, Bernie!
他说他只是拿去修啊 He says he was gonna get it fixed.
- 那是他自己说的 - 好吧，我不认为卡尔… - That's what he says. - Well, I don't think Carl...
而且那些他"应该"种的花 And those flowers he's supposedly planted,
本该两周前就开了 they were supposed to bloom two weeks ago.
他是个没用的懒惰鬼！ 啥也没做好过！ He's a lazy good fer nothin'. The man's never done anything!
我不认为他会做任何像… I don't think that he would ever do anything like...
你干嘛一直帮那种人说话？ Why are you stickin' up for his kind?
玛佳丽，你真的很难相处！ Marjorie, you're making it very hard to be your friend.
我改天再来好了 I'm gonna come back some other time.
喔！ 你走啊！ 丢下我啊！ Oh, just go ahead, desert me.
就像其他人一样，走啊！ 走啊！ 走啊！ 走啊！ Just like everybody else, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
滚滚滚！ 反正你讨厌我！ Go, go, go! You hate me!
玛佳丽，我不会跟你吵的 Marjorie, I am not going to take part
你知道… in this argument. You know.
- 我知道你恨我！ - 我没有！ - I know you hate me! - No!
跟其他人一样！ Like everybody else!
喔… Oh.
简单来讲，伯尼就像变成了她的财产一样 Basically, it was like Bernie became her property.
你绝不能离开我！ 不行 You'll never leave me. Never.
他是她唯一的娱乐 He was her sole source of entertainment,
必须帮她做任何事 had to do everything for her.
我真的觉得他就像被闷住、噎到 I truly believe the guy felt he was smothered, choked,
没法自己呼吸一样 unable to get his wind.
我不知道那家伙怎么受得了 I don't know how the guy stood it. Well.
拜托，你就开枪吧！ Come on, just pull the damn trigger.
我做不到，好难瞄准喔 I don't think I can. It doesn't feel aimed right.
你看 Look, look, all I want
我只想要你射死那只 is for you to shoot that armadillo
乱挖我庭院的犰狳而已，好不好？ that is digging up my garden, okay?
我只要你这次当个男人 I mean, is that too much for me to ask,
这要求太高了吗？ for you to be a man for once in your life?
算了 Fine.
我要你负责 Now I'm holding you responsible
庭院里所有被挖的部分 for anything getting dug up in my garden.
知道了吗？你自己去把那些洞填起来 Okay? You go out and fix those holes yourself.
顺便给你自己挖个洞算了 Dig one you can fit in.
我看看 Let me see.
你有去干洗店拿我的裙子吗？ Did you go by the cleaners to pick up my dress?
之前拿了 Yes, earlier.
有清洗流理台吗？ Did you lysol my kitchen counters?
有～ Mm-hm.
有去药局拿心脏病的药吗？ Did you pick up the Preparation H from the pharmacy?
没有，我想说等下吃饭经过时再领 No, but I figured we'd go by there
你还想去吃墨西哥菜吗？ on the way to lunch. Do you still want to go to Jalapeño Treat?
- 大概吧！ - 好了，别动 - I guess. - Okay, hold still.
天哪 Jeez.
你会来 Will you be attending
我们今晚的彩排吗？ our dress rehearsal tonight?
不会 No.
玛佳丽？ Marjorie?
玛佳丽，你还好吗？ Marjorie, are you okay?
玛佳丽，说话啊！ Marjorie, say something to me.
玛佳丽，拜托你说说话！ Marjorie, can you talk to me?
玛佳丽，你可以说话吗？ Marjorie, can you say something?
喔，不不不不不！ ！ Oh no, no, no, no, no!
噢天啊，不不不，我做了什么啊？ Oh, Jesus, no, no, no, what have I done?
上帝啊，我都做了什么啊？ Oh, God! What have I done?
请告诉我该怎么办！ Please tell me what to do!
我愿意做任何事！ I'll do whatever you want me to do!
♬ 76支长号，引领着游行 ♬ ♪ Seventy six trombones led the big parade ♪
♬ 紧跟着是，110支短号 ♬ ♪ With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand ♪
♬ 然后跟着是，一排又一排最棒的演奏家 ♬ ♪ They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos ♪
♬ 就像每个有名的乐团一样 ♬ ♪ So is the cream of every famous band ♪
♪♪
♬ 76支长号，到了对位点 ♬ ♪ Seventy six trombones hit the counterpoint ♪
♬ 而110支短号，开始鸣奏 ♬ ♪ While a hundred and ten cornets blazed the way ♪
♬ 跟随着游行的节奏，前进！ 前进！ 前进！ ♬ ♪ To the rhythm of march! March! March! ♪
♬ 所有的孩子开始前进 ♬ ♪ All the kids began to march ♪
♬ 而他们至今仍跟着节奏，向前行 ♬ ♪ And their marching still right today ♪
大家做得都很好 Great job, everyone.
旗子好像有点慢 It seemed like the flags were a little late,
还有我要确定有没跳对单脚跳的部分 also I want to make sure that those fleahops are right.
我好像没跟上拍子 Now I got off that time
我觉得我没跟上，因为你们有人没跟上 but I feel like I got off because one of you got off.
但已经很棒了 But it was a really great job.
休息五分钟，然后我们从头再来一次 Take five, we're gonna take it again from the top.
我不认为会有很多人问起 I don't think too many of us
纽珍太太 ever asked very many questions
而就算我们问了 about Mrs. Nugent, and if we did,
他总能搬出令人信服的解释来 he would always have a very plausible explanation.
你好，比利，我是伯尼·提徳 Hello, Billy, this is Bernie Tiede
十二月
我替纽珍太太打这通电话 calling on behalf of Mrs. Nugent.
是的，她上次爽约没去做头发 Yes, yes, she missed her holiday haircut appointment
但她叫我跟你说，不会再去你那边了 but she's asked me to tell you that she won't be coming back in.
她想试着找别人做 She wants to try someone else.
呃，这么说实在很抱歉 Well, I'm sorry to say this
但她说你动作慢又贵 but she says that you take too long and charge too much.
对不起，比利，我只是代为转达而已 Billy, I'm sorry, but I'm just the messenger.
我非常震惊她不来了 I was rather devastated at the very idea
她在这做了30年头发耶 that she was not coming anymore after 30 years
身为她的朋友、发型师 of being her friend, hairdresser,
有时甚至是知己 confidante sometimes,
我非常震惊她就这么消失了 and she just was gonna vanish.
她要搞失踪其实很容易 It was easy for her to disappear.
一月
根本没人想找她 Nobody was looking for her.
她儿子不会、她两个姐妹更不会 Not her son, not her two sisters.
有个姐妹就住在迦太基 One of them lived here in Carthage.
却十年没跟她讲过话了 They hadn't spoken in about 10 years.
你要替我们慷慨的捐助者… You want to sign this for Mrs. Nugent,
纽珍太太签名吗？ our generous benefactor?
唯一一个在找她的，是她的股票经纪人 Only person looking for her was her stockbroker.
喔天哪 Oh, God.
你好？ Hello?
伯尼？ 伯尼！ Bernie? Bernie!
玛佳丽… 玛佳丽在哪？ Wh... where's Marjorie?
我… 我… 我五个星期没跟她说到话了 I... I... I haven't spoken to her in over five weeks,
我留了11通留言 I've left 11 messages.
她正跟我在一起呢，洛伊德 She's with me right now, Lloyd,
很抱歉没早点告诉你 and I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier
但她刚经历几次小中风 but she's had a series of small strokes.
我有几次想打给你，跟你说她的病情 I've been meaning to call you and let you know her situation.
嗯，不，她还不该试着说话 Mm-hm. No, she should not be attempting to talk. No.
不行，你不能说话啦，医生说… No, you can't talk. The doctor said...
她叫我向你问好 She's indicating for me to tell you hi from her.
他祝你一切都好 He sends you all his best.
好的 Okay, well,
等她好点我们再连络 we'll be in touch when she's feeling better.
还有，有什么可以帮上忙的地方 In the meantime, let me know
尽管说，好的 if I can help you with anything. Okay.
好好，再见 Okay, bye-bye.
伯尼知道要怎么从帐户里提钱 Bernie knew better than touch my accounts.
但他的目标其实是，那些每月汇进她户头里的钱 But he was going after what would go into her bank accounts
那是她的分红 because that's where all the royalty checks went.
通常一个月5万元 It's usually 50,000 a month.
现在他真的变的很慷慨了 Now he really started being generous.
他花了五千元 He paid 5,000 dollars
请知名交响乐团来演奏《弥赛亚》 for the Shreveport orchestra to come over play the Messiah.
还买了超贵的羽管键琴给学校 He bought a high dollar harpsichord for school.
更出钱让合唱团去俄罗斯 He paid for the choir to go to Russia.
还有，他把我用更多钱请回去了 Well, yeah, he hired me back for more money,
这我当然没意见 which is fine with me.
噢，他买了水上摩托车 Oh, he bought jet skis,
还买了九辆车 he bought nine cars,
甚至还买了几间快完蛋的公司 he bought struggling businesses,
他付给"迦太基大奖"4万元 he paid 40,000 dollars for Carthage Awards.
那是个奖杯店 That's a trophy shop.
二月
他借钱给优肯家族 He loaned the money to the Yokums over here,
开了间西部牛仔服饰店 that opened up Boot Scootin Western Wear.
我想那些是镇民对抗连锁店进驻的方式吧！ I guess that was Carthage's answer to Neiman's.
伯尼只是告诉大家不用急着还 Bernie just told everybody to pay him back when they could.
有钱再还就行了 You know, pay me when you can.
但他们从来没还过 But they never did.
伯尼知道我双胞胎女儿的生日快到了 Bernie knew my twin girls' birthday was coming up,
他想说他们会想 and he thought they should have
在一个大游戏屋里玩 a big nice playhouse, you know?
小女生嘛 Little girls.
于是伯尼买了这个游戏屋给女孩们 Bernie bought this playhouse for my girls.
三月
噢 Oh.
谢谢！ Thank you.
我得说：伯尼·提徳，上帝祝福你，孩子 I just feel like I need to say, Bernie Tiede, God bless you, son.
为了改造这个镇，你做得比任何人都更多 You've done more to transform the town of Carthage than anyone else.
- 噢，谢谢你 - 上帝祝福你，伯尼 - Oh, thank you. - God bless you, Bernie.
伯尼大可用那些钱给自己买座豪宅 Bernie could've bought a mansion for himself with the money.
但他仍住在大概只值 But he kept that little house
5万元的小房子里 worth, maybe, 50,000.
他还买车给需要的人 Now he bought cars for folks that needed it.
用现金买 And he paid cash for those.
但他开的那辆老林肯轿车呢？ But that old Lincoln he was drivin'?
贷款买的 He had it financed.
而且他还常迟缴分期付款 And he was usually behind on his payments.
不，他绝对没有一丝贪婪 No, there really wasn't any greed in him.
他从纽珍太太那支用的钱 Almost everything he got from Mrs. Nugent,
几乎都给了别人 he gave to somebody else.
洛伊德好像很担心 Lloyd seems to be pretty concerned.
四月
他觉得是时候让家属介入了 He thinks the family should get involved.
噢天哪，你在开玩笑吧！ Oh, good lord, you gotta be kidding me.
我不懂为什么洛伊德那么神经质 I don't know why Lloyd is so paranoid.
就像我跟他说的啊 It's like I told him.
她现在在疗养院里 She's at the Scott White Nursing Home in Temple.
她不想让别人知道 She didn't want everyone to know,
因为她不想要家人介入 'cause she's afraid the family would come in
意图接手她的财产 and try to take over her affairs.
果然是玛佳丽的作风啊 That sounds just like Marjorie.
对呀，那就是玛佳丽本色啊 Mm-hm. That's Marjorie alright.
- 嗯 - 百分之百是 - Mm-hm. - One hundred percent.
你知道的，伯尼，她是我姐姐 You know, Bernie, she's my sister,
我想我应该要爱她才对 and I guess that I should love her.
但她就是太坏啊 But she's just mean.
她坏到骨子里了 She's just hard down mean.
呃，我想她也有好的一面… Mm. Well, there's some goodness in there, too.
她以前会拆烂我的玩具 She used to tear up my toys,
把洋娃娃的头拔掉 she pulled the heads off my dolls,
她还撕烂我的作业 she used to tear up my homework.
然后下一个是艾达·帕克太太 And next up is Mrs. Ida Parker.
五月
艾达说她不喜欢针织、勾边 Ida says she does not like knitting, crocheting,
整理花园、煮饭 gardening, cooking fancy food,
做太多家事或艺术方面的嗜好 excessive housework, or artsy hobbies.
她想要等老了以后再做那些事 She's planning on doing these things when she gets old.
♬ 睡美人 ♬ ♪ Beautiful dreamer ♪
♬ 我的女王 ♬ ♪ Queen of my song ♪
♬ 当我追求你时 ♬ ♪ List while I woo thee ♪
♬ 谱下轻柔的旋律 ♬ ♪ With soft melody ♪
♬ 消逝是芸芸众生 ♬ ♪ Gone are the cares of ♪
♬ 才会有的烦恼 ♬ ♪ Life's busy throng ♪
♬ 睡美人 ♬ ♪ Beautiful dreamer ♪
♬ 被我的歌唤醒吧 ♬ ♪ Awake to my song ♪
♬ 睡美人 ♬ ♪ Beautiful dreamer ♪
♬ 为我而醒吧 ♬ ♪ Awake unto me ♪
♪♪
♬ 睡美人 ♬ ♪ Beautiful dreamer ♪
♬ 为我而醒吧 ♬ ♪ Awaken to me ♪
♪♪
谢谢！ Thank you.
所以你今年四月还有见到纽珍太太？ So you saw Mrs. Nugent in April of this year?
嗯，我想是四月没错 You know, I believe it was April.
六月
亲眼见到的吗？ With your own eyes?
呃，我那天其实没有真的… 见到她，我… Well, you know, I didn't actually... see her that day, I...
我去她家找她签些文件 I came to her house to get her to sign some documents.
伯尼来应门，说她不太舒服 Bernie comes to the door, says she's feeling poorly.
然后他拿了那些文件到后面给她签 Just then, he takes the documents back and she signs them.
我就走了 I go on about my business.
好，这至少确定了一些事情 Okay. It confirms a pattern.
感谢你 I appreciate it.
嗯，好像是洛伊德·霍恩巴克 Well, it sounds like Lloyd Hornbuckle
打给在阿马里洛（德州西北部城市）的小道恩 called Dwayne Junior up in Amarillo,
把他气个半死 and got him all riled up.
噢，天啊 Oh, boy.
我想洛伊德只是很沮丧 You know, I think Lloyd's just upset
因为他在她生病时，少赚了不少佣金 because he's losing commissions during her illness.
他没法动用纽珍太太的钱 He can't move Mrs. Nugent's money around
然后像以前一样赚佣金… and keep taking his commissions the way he's used to, so...
可能吧，但小道恩说他爸 It may be so, but Dwayne Junior says his money
每年留给他孙子的钱 comes in every year for his kids from his dad's will.
今年没进来呢 It hadn't come in this year.
钱是不会过去了，那种事没等到玛佳丽好一点 And it won't until Mrs. Nugent's in better condition
没法处理 to take care of such things.
那可怜的女士 The poor lady's in the hospital
中风躺在医院呢 having suffered a major stroke.
她只是不想被打扰 She simply doesn't want to be disturbed.
看在老天的份上告诉大家吧！ Tell everyone for heaven's sake,
要有点耐心 to please have a little more patience.
我是无所谓啦 Well, that's fine with me.
说老实话 I don't want her disturbing me,
我可不想她来烦我 if you wanna know the truth.
我很抱歉你被捲进这种事里 I'm sorry you had to get wrapped up in all this.
喔，算了吧！ 洛伊德就是个大忙人，连这也要管 Oh, forget about it, Lloyd Hornbuckle's just a busybody.
- 再会啦，伯尼 - 谢了，警长 - I'll see you later, Bernie. - Thank you, Sheriff.
七月
喂？ Hello.
你活在罪恶感中对吧！ You are living in a world of guilt.
警察只要找到，哪怕是一丁点证据 All the police have to do is find one shred of evidence
你就死定了 and it's off to hell you go.
洛伊德，是你吗？ Lloyd, is that you?
洛伊德？ 哈喽… Lloyd? Hello...
伯尼，你还好吗？ Bernie, are you okay?
什么？ 我很好啊，只是… Hm? Yeah, I just, uh...
可以问你件事吗？ Can I ask you something?
当然 Of course.
很奇怪 It's so strange.
你相信有人会做出… Do you believe a person could be capable of...
一些事… an action...
但对他们来说就像 and yet to them it feels like
那些事根本不是自己做的 it's not even them doing it.
就像人格分裂一样吗？ Almost like Jekyll and Hyde?
伯尼，别担心了，没关系的 Bernie, stop worrying, it's okay.
一个人的癖好别人管不着 Someone's personal proclivities are nobody's else's business.
我们无论如何都爱你，伯尼 We all love you like you are, Bernie, no matter what.
♬ 人生重担将我枷锁 ♬ ♪ Shackled by a heavy burden ♪
♬ 满心罪恶和羞辱 ♬ ♪ B'neath the load of guilt and shame ♪
♬ 耶稣今来伸手一摸 ♬ ♪ Then the hand of Jesus touched me ♪
♬ 我就立脱旧样和罪污 ♬ ♪ And now I am no longer the same ♪
♬ 他摸我，哦，他摸我 ♬ ♪ He touched me, oh he touched me ♪
- 上帝保佑你，伯尼 - 上帝保佑你，布朗先生 - God bless you, Bernie. - God bless you, Mr. Brown.
- 你的歌声真美 - 谢谢！ - That was beautiful. - Thank you.
- 祝你有个幸福的周末 - 也祝福你 - You have a blessed weekend. - God bless you too.
谢谢！ Thank you.
如往常一样，伯尼，我好爱那些歌 As always, Bernie, I love the songs.
- 谢谢！ - 我深表同情 - Thank you. - My sympathies.
谢谢你，玛利·贝尔，总是很高兴见到你 Thank you, Mari Belle, it's always great to see you.
我很难过玛佳丽听不到这些 I'm so sorry Marjorie didn't hear that,
我听说她有好一点了 I hear she's doing better.
是的，她有时候看起来比较好了，但是… Yes, some days it seems she's starting to feel better but, um...
我还是怕… I'm still afraid...
我快要失去她了 I'm gonna lose her soon.
八月
终于 Finally.
我已经九个月没看到纽珍太太了 Nine months since I had last laid eyes on Mrs. Nugent,
我们进去她的房子 we got into her house.
奶奶？ Grandma?
纽珍太太？ Mrs. Nugent?
奶奶？ Grandma?
谁也不在 Nothing.
嗯 Hm.
什么也没有 There's nothing.
她干嘛把冰柜封死了？ Why would she tape her freezer shut?
噢，天啊！ Oh, my God.
警长！ Sheriff!
长官，我是KCM频道的记者 Sir, I'm a reporter for KCM channel.
女士，等等 Ma'am, hold on.
你愿意对此事发表一下看法吗？ Would you care to make a statement about what's going on?
- 警长？ - 嘿，丹尼 - Sheriff? - Hey, Danny.
- 在冰柜里？ - 对 - I n the freezer? - Yeah.
完整的还是被分尸了？ All in one piece or chopped up?
- 完整的 - 靠 - All in one piece. - Holy shit.
冻的像跟冰棒一样 Frozen like a Popsicle.
小心点 Be careful.
好了，快走吧！ Alright, get rolling,
直接去达拉斯，中间不准停 straight to Dallas, no stopping for coffee.
- 好的 - 没问题，我们不会停的 - Alright. - No sir, we ain't stoppin'.
我们把冰柜连同内容物 We had loaded up the freezer with its contents intact
一起送到达拉斯的医疗检验中心 for transport to the Dallas Medical Examiner's office
在那里法医专家们 where the forensic experts over there
会好好研究 are gonna study it.
现在这个时点，有任何谋杀嫌犯出炉吗？ At this time, are there any suspects in the murder?
喔，确实是有特定的某人 Oh, there's one man in particular I can think of
我们希望他到案说明 I sure would like to talk to.
嘿，警长，你们有找到他吗？ Hey, Sheriff, did you actually find him yet?
我们还在找 We're still looking for him.
他不在机场 He wasn't at Carthage aviation,
奖章店或家里 Carthage Awards or his house.
好了，听着… Alright, look...
我们将要全力搜索整个三郡区域 we're gonna throw a net over the entire tri-county area
来找到我们的头号嫌犯 to find our number one suspect.
我们可能对付的是个狂人 We might be dealing with a madman here,
一个看似无害的疯狂杀手 a bonafide deranged killer.
达到目标，精通各种技巧 Achieving goals, mastering skills,
对手其实不是敌队 the opponent isn't the other team,
而是你自己 it's really just yourself.
只要你肯努力 And if you've worked hard,
尽自己的全力 and done the absolute best that you can,
那么不管最后比分如何 then no matter what the scoreboard says,
你仍是人生的赢家 you are the winner in the game of life.
你可以抬头挺胸… You can hold your head high...
提德先生，可以跟你说句话吗？ Mr. Tiede, may we have a word with you?
当然可以，现在吗？ Of course. Right now?
好的 Sure.
我要跟警察叔叔讲一下话 I'm gonna go talk to the police.
各位，你们为自己赢得了… Gentlemen, you have earned yourself...
很棒的点心，冲啊，响尾蛇队！ a great dessert. Go, Rattlers.
我以你们为荣 I'm so proud of you.
这边走 This way.
你想杀她有多久了，伯尼？ How long you been thinking about killing her, Bernie?
我从来没想过要杀纽珍太太 I never thought of me killing Mrs. Nugent.
我想，我幻想过她的死 I'd... I guess I fantasized about her death,
但都不是我干的 but I was never the one responsible for it.
她总是死于各种意外… She always died accidentally like...
像是车祸或是从商场电扶梯摔下来之类的 in a car accident or falling down the escalator at the mall in Longview.
幻想中，总是我在她棺材旁掉泪 I was always the one weeping by her open casket.
安慰别人，安慰自己 Comforting others, being comforted myself.
你为何幻想她死，伯尼 Why'd you want her dead, Bernie?
嗯… 她变得很坏又有占有欲 Mm, she had become so mean and possessive of me.
我… 我就是受不了待在她身边了 I... I couldn't face being around her any longer.
然后事情… 就这么发生了 And then it just... happened.
我不知道啊，我开枪打了她！ I don't know. I shot her!
我对可怜的纽珍太太射了四枪！ I shot poor Mrs. Nugent four times.
用犰狳枪射的 With the armadillo gun.
然后呢？ Then what?
嗯… 然后主召她回天家了 Well, then the Lord called her Home.
我知道错了，而我必须赎罪，噢！ I know I done wrong and I must atone for my sins. Oh!
伊莉莎白，我刚听说伯尼杀了你姐姐玛吉 Elizabeth, I just heard Bernie killed your sister Margy.
噢亲爱的，不可能吧！ Oh, honey, no.
玛佳丽在邻镇的疗养院 Marjorie's in a nursing home over in Timble.
并没有，她被冷冻着送去达拉斯了 No, no, she is in a deep freeze going to Dallas.
没人想得到 Nobody in a million years
这会发生 could've imagined that that could've happened.
超震惊的啊！ 我不敢相信是伯尼干的！ Shock! I could not believe Bernie did this.
不可能 No way.
这真是他妈的难以置信，没人会信的 Well, it was fucking unbelievable. Nobody could believe it.
我可以想像有人会想干掉她 You know, I could see somebody wantin' to do that to her,
但我怎也没猜到会是伯尼下的手 but Bernie Tiede's the last person I woulda thought done it.
我是说，我们只是震惊，非常震惊及怀疑 I mean, we were just shocked, just shocked. Just disbelief.
我认识的伯尼有点娘娘腔 The Bernie I knew was somewhat of a sissy.
让人没法预料到 And it just ain't no way
他会去杀人 I can see him ever killing anybody.
我觉得他们搞错了 I thought they'd made a mistake.
当你想到一个体贴的男人，你会想到伯尼 You got this sweet guy, you got Bernie,
他是我遇过最好的人 who's just the nicest fella I'd ever met,
我认识他有一段时间了 and I've known him for a little while,
然后当你想到… 纽珍太太 and then you got... Mrs. Nugent
她不是那么地好… who is not nice,
…很不好，根本就是邪恶 not nice to a large degree, just evil.
所以当这两个人凑在一起 So you got this sweetness and you got this evil,
简直就像善恶交战… and they're kinda battlin' each other, uh...
所以你知道当争战到某一点时 and you know that something at some point's gotta give,
某一边总得认输吧！ 甚至于崩溃 something's gotta break
而我想她的邪恶更甚于他的善良吧！ and she was justs more evil than he was nice, I guess,
然后他就暴发了 and he just exploded.
如果我们够生气的话 We're all capable of that dark moment.
都可能面临那黑暗的一刻 If we ever get angry enough.
他一定是想被抓 He must've wanted to get caught.
他唯一要做的事就是，带着她的尸体 All he had to do was put her body
上他其中一架飞机 in one of his airplanes,
飞到海外扔掉 fly her out over the Gulf and push her right out.
没尸体，当然也不会被逮捕 No body, no arrest.
那种坏心肠的女人… A woman like that with a bad heart...
他应该直接抄起枕头闷死她 he shoulda just shoved the pillow right over her face.
那样搞不好他们连验尸都懒得做！ Then they probably wouldn't even done an autopsy.
过没几天，他就在办她的丧事了 A few days later, he'd be doing her funeral.
噢，我只能摇摇头说： Oh, I just started shaking my head
"噢，伯尼，伯尼，伯尼，伯尼" going, "Oh Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie."
哪个正常人会宰了自己的饭票呢？ Who in their right mind would kill their meal ticket?
那时候大家都疯了 It was crazy around here.
大家黏着丹尼·巴克像狗毛上的虱子一样 People were on Danny Buck like ticks on a coon dog.
对了，丹尼·巴克 Yeah, Danny Buck,
你知道伯尼根本不会用猎枪 you know Bernie didn't know anything about shooting a rifle.
他从没打过猎 He didn't go huntin',
连鹿站他面前都认不得 he wouldn't know a deer blind from an outhouse.
这样的人怎么会用猎枪呢？ That he wouldn't.
这镇上的好人已经不多了 There are not enough nice men in this town.
放过可怜的伯尼吧，丹尼·巴克 Leave poor Bernie alone, Danny Buck.
我们甚至不认为是他做的 We don't even think he did it.
他自己都招了 He confessed.
丹尼·巴克 Danny Buck,
你跟我们一样认识纽珍太太 you knew Mrs. Nugent as well as any of us did.
你可曾想过… Did you ever stop to think
可能，只是可能啦… maybe, just maybe
伯尼是正当防卫吗？ Bernie did it in self defense.
正当防卫！ Self defense.
还有他可能是被逼供才招的 Maybe it was a forced confession.
他可能被扁了一顿 They could've beat it out of him.
那样的好人怎禁得起打呢？ He's too sweet to stand up under interrogation.
听着，没逼供这回事 Look, there was no interrogation.
他走进来，坐下，然后和盘托出 He walked in, sat down and told us everything.
就是这么简单 Simple as that.
噢，管他的 Well, hell.
就算是他干的 Even if he did do it,
她又凶脾气又坏 she was so mean and ornery,
根本活该！ she had it coming to her.
还有他干的那根本没像大家说的，是多坏的事吧！ It's not as bad as people say it is.
他只朝她开了4枪，又不是5枪！ He only shot her four times, not five.
你们知道吗？ You know what?
你们这群笨蛋简直疯了 You people are as crazy as a coot.
我跟你们一样喜欢伯尼·提德这个人 I like Bernie Tiede as much as you do.
但他真的枪杀了她啊！ He did shoot her though!
我告诉你 I tell you what.
我不自以为知道 I don't claim to know what Bernie did
伯尼做了什么，或没做什么 or did not do.
我认为那是他跟全能的上帝之间的秘密 I figure that's between him and God Almighty.
而且我是这么想的… Mm-hm. And the way I figure it,
那应该永远是个秘密 that's where it should stay.
我真希望是陪审团的一员 Man, I hope I'm on that jury.
对，我们要能原谅做错事的人 Yes, we need to be able to forgive someone who's done something wrong.
而不管真相为何 And no matter what the truth is,
伯尼需要我们的代祷 Bernie is going to need our prayers.
所以大家，我们需要明白 So, folks, we need to understand
悲剧只是在考验我们的信心 that tragedies are simply tests of our faith.
而现在，伯尼需要知道 And right now, Bernie needs to know,
特别在这考验他信仰的时刻 especially during this testing of his faith,
上帝和我们教会的会众 that God and this congregation
从来没有撇弃他 have not abandoned him.
很高兴见到你，谢谢你来 Good to see you, thanks for coming.
很高兴见到你 Good to see you.
愿神在一切事上祝福你 God bless you for everything.
牧师，听着… Reverend. Now listen,
你从新约的角度看待他我可以理解，但… I understand you going all New Testament on him but uh...
至少你不该替他祷告吧？ you got to at least take him off the prayer list.
嘿，我必须保持中立，每个人都需要牧师呀 Hey, I gotta stay neutral, everybody needs a preacher.
中立？ Neutral?
牧师，基本上你是在支持一项犯罪行为 Reverend, basically you were supporting a criminal act.
你知道，我听到的都是"可怜的伯尼" You know, all I hear is poor Bernie.
可是怎么没人说"可怜的玛佳丽"呢？ Nobody's talking about poor Marjorie.
拜托，好像每个人都忘了 Hell, everyone seems to be forgetting
有一位女士，也是这个教会的会众 that there's a lady, a member of this congregation,
从后面被开了四枪 shot in the back four times
然后被丢进冰柜里面 and put in the freezer.
丹尼，你说的伯尼 Danny, the Bernie you're talking about
不是这个教会所认识的伯尼 is not the Bernie this church knows.
没错，当然不是 The heck it isn't.
听起来你选择性记得的伯尼 It sounds like the only Bernie you're choosing to remember
是那个给教会捐了十万元的伯尼吧，牧师 is the one that donated 100,000 dollars to your church. Reverend.
丹尼，听好，我很抱歉你这么觉… Danny, look, I'm sorry you feel that...
大家都很难过！ It's been hard on everyone.
走吧，孩子们 Alright, kiddos.
所有伯尼替每个人做的好事 All the good that Bernie had done for everybody,
或替我们做的… or for us around here, it just...
只要是伯尼花她的钱弄的 they come in, and then it was gonna get all
全都给没收了 Mrs. Nugent's money back that Bernie had spent.
我们失去了我们的机场 We lost our airport,
失去了最好的店 we lost our best store,
车子，还有人失去房子 cars, some people lost their houses,
水上摩托 jet skis.
他总共花了纽珍太太60万元 He spent 600,000 dollars of Mrs. Nugent's money.
没文件之类的吗？ No paperwork, anything?
收据呢？ A receipt?
我不知道，我是说… I don't know, I mean...
他只是给我，说我可以拿走 he just gave it to me, said I could have it.
你知道，他们至少应该 Well, you know, at least they could've left
留点钱给教会嘛 some money for the church.
见鬼，那可是以她的名字命名的呢 Hell, they named the building after her.
他们来了！ Here they come!
虽然谣言围绕在 Although rumors have been circulating
突发新闻
伯尼·提德被控一级谋杀
认罪减刑的可能 about a possible plea bargain
或缓刑的机会 to lesser charges or a probated sentence,
但检察官丹尼·巴克 District Attorney Danny Buck Davidson
却以一级谋杀罪起诉提德 has shocked East Texas
最高可重判至无期徒刑 by filing first degree murder charges against Tiede,
此举也震惊了东德州 which could result in a life sentence.
很明显地，迦太基这个小镇 Clearly, the tiny town of Carthage is buzzing
有关这起谋杀已经是谣言满天飞了 with opinions over the murder.
他没从背后射杀纽珍太太 He didn't shoot Mrs. Nugent in the back.
他就是没杀人 He didn't do it.
伯恩哈特·提德可不是什么怪物 Bernhardt Tiede ain't no monster.
没有一个陪审团会判他一级谋杀的 Ain't no jury gonna convict Bernie of first degree murder.
事实上，我不知道 In fact, I don't know
陪审团会判他任何罪刑 if a jury's gonna convict him of anything
而且我敢说，就算他们判了什么罪 and I'll say this, if a jury as to convict him,
他们大概也会给他缓刑机会 they'll probably gonna give him probation.
不会把他送去坐牢的 They ain't gonna send him to the penitentiary.
待审期间，在看守所 In the meantime, Bernie sits in the county jail
伯尼已成为 where he's reportedly already become
颇受欢迎的犯人 a popular inmate
他带领了一个查经小组 leading a Bible study group
还为工作人员下厨 and cooking meals for the staff.
现在，我们要把派底下 Now, we are going to line the bottom
铺满一层芝士 of the pie dish with cheese
可以隔开派皮和馅料 to provide a barrier between the liquid and the crust.
现在有很多人喜欢用芝士碎 Now a lot of people use grated cheese,
但我发现当你把芝士，切成1/4英寸的方块 but I found that if you cut it in little quarter inch cubes,
可以更好地防止派皮受潮变软 it does a better job of keeping the crust from getting soggy.
现在，我们要把花椰菜用橄榄油 Now, we are going to sauté the broccoli lightly in olive oil
小炒至翠绿色 till it's just bright green.
这样才会入味 That keeps the flavor in.
如果放生的下去，会完全没味道 If you put it in raw, it's completely flavorless.
我不是说我们不起诉他 I'm not saying we want the case totally dropped,
但真的没法子，少罚伯尼一点吗？ but isn't there some way to keep Bernie from getting punished too much?
一共是14.74元 That's $ 14.74.
那么我问你，贝克太太 So let me ask you something, Mrs. Beck.
如果有个家伙跑来朝你背后开了四枪 If someone came along and shot you in the back four times,
我少罚他一点你也觉得无所谓吗？ would you still be fine with me not letting them get punished too much?
如果我在陪审团里，丹尼·巴克 If I'm on that jury, Danny Buck,
我会投他无罪 I'm votin' to acquit.
至于定他的罪嘛 As far as convicting Bernie,
老实告诉你，即便他已经认罪 I feed you straight. I mean, even with the confession in my pocket,
我还是有点怕怕的 I was a bit trepidacious.
我是说，就好像他对整个镇施了魔法一样 I mean, it's like he cast a spell over the entire area.
那些老夫人们 All the little old ladies,
卫理公会信徒 Methodist church people,
任何一个他用纽珍太太的钱 anybody he'd ever given anything to.
给了好处的人 With Mrs. Nugent's money.
甚至于那些没出柜的同志们，每一个人… All the closet homosexuals. Everybody.
每一个人都认为他能脱罪 Everybody thought he was gonna get off.
但我还有张王牌没打呢 But I had one card left to play.
现在我全押上了 And I went all in.
提德案移交圣奥古斯汀郡审判 “只需50英里就能获得有罪裁决”——地方检察官丹尼·巴克
当法官认为被告无法在当地获得公平审判时 Trials are generally moved when the judge determines
审判通常可以改地点进行 that the defendant can't get a fair trial locally.
而那通常是因为该罪行太出名或太过分 And that's usually because the crime is so egregious and so well known
以至于该区里每个人 that everybody in the community has already convicted
都已经暗暗认定是那个狗娘养的干的 the poor son of a bitch accused of it.
但我干这行那么多年来 But in all the years I've been doing this for a living,
从来没听过 I have never heard of the state
是因为被告广受爱戴 seeking a change of venue
检方定不了他的罪 because the defendant was so well liked
才提出要改地点的 that they couldn't get a conviction.
所以当我听说法官真的同意了丹尼·巴克的荒唐要求 So when I heard that the judge had actually agreed to move the trial,
变更了庭审地点的时候 giving in to Danny Buck's harebrained request,
我的第一个想法是：该死 my first thought was, "Oh, shit.
这下我们要栽了 Our donkey's in a ditch."
“有罪还是无辜？”
把冰柜带进来 Bring in the freezer.
圣奥古斯汀郡 距迦太基47.7英里 “世界松鼠狩猎之都”
让陪审团好好看看 Let the jury be able to see
纽珍太太过世后九个月以来呆的地方 where Mrs. Nugent spent the first nine months of her afterlife.
好一个品味差劲的棺材啊 A poor excuse for a casket.
喂，要确实把开口对着陪审团啊 Boys, make sure it opens up to the jury.
法庭攻防两边都有些疯狂之举 There's some wild shit on both sides of the courtroom.
但你要知道，这可是他们一直在等待的 But, you know, this was the big stage
大舞台，大城镇，大表演啊 the big town, the big show they'd been waiting for
他们使出浑身解数 and they pulled out all the stops.
他们真把那个冰柜推了进来 They wheeled in the actual deep freeze.
嗯 Mm-hm.
他们展示了冷冻纽珍太太的照片 They projected pictures of frozen dead Mrs. Nugent.
然后请来失声痛哭的家属 And then they started bringing out the crying weeping relatives.
然后我走向冰柜 And then I went to the freezer.
我看到… And I saw
在她的冷冻玉米、牛排、… underneath her corn and her steak and...
还有冷冻派下面… her pot pies was...
是她的头顶啊啊！ the top of her head.
那太可怕了 It was so horrible.
没别的问题了，法官大人 No further questions, Your Honor.
你最后一次跟你祖母说话是什么时候？ When was the last time you talked to your grandmother?
呃，我不记得了 Um, I don't remember.
是真的吗？ 你和你哥哥 Isn't it true that you and your brother
四年前起诉了你祖母？ sued your grandmother almost four years ago?
是一位律师建议我们那么做 We were advised to by a lawyer.
一位律师？ A lawyer?
你是说，随便冒出来的家伙？ You mean, just some old boy come in off the street?
还是你说的是“你们的”律师？ Or are we talking about your lawyer?
我想，他是为我们工作的 I guess he was working for us.
我肯定他是为你们工作的 I'll say he was working for you.
他想拿走你祖母的钱，对吗？ He was trying to get your grandmother's money, wasn't he?
你在那之后有跟她说过话吗？ Did you ever speak to her after that?
好像没有… I don't think so.
喔，好像没有是吧！ Well, you know you didn't.
哼，你早知道你没有 But you told us earlier that you were real close to your grandmother.
但你之前还说跟奶奶很亲 Now was that the same woman you were suing for money?
那跟你控告要钱的是同一个女人吗？ Is that the same woman
那跟你四年没说话的是同一个女人吗？ that you have not spoken to in four years?
我内心还是觉得我们很亲… I felt in our hearts we were still close.
当我看到那群陪审团 I knew he was in trouble
我知道他麻烦大了 when I saw that jury.
伯尼必须上证人席为自己辩护 And Bernie was just gonna have to get up there and explain himself
而对面是一群圣奥古斯汀的蠢货乡巴佬 to a bunch of Saint Augustine cousin-countin' rednecks over there.
我的意思是，那群人身上的刺青比牙齿还多 I mean, they got more tattoos than teeth
而且那些家伙没一个有脑子！ and there ain't no brain in the whole dozen of 'em,
然后他们要决定 and they're supposed to decide
一件如此重大的事？ big things like this?
拜托，我连车都不想给他们修！ I mean, shoot, I wouldn't let 'em work on my car.
好，伯尼 Now, Bernie,
被逮捕后你认罪了，对吗？ after you were arrested you gave a confession, correct?
是的，先生 Yes, sir.
你对玛佳丽·纽珍有什么感觉？ How did you feel about Marjorie Nugent?
我很关心她 I cared for Marjorie deeply.
也非常爱她 I loved her very much.
我还有从监狱寄信给她家人 And I've sent letters from jail to her family
请求他们原谅我，毁掉了玛吉的生命 asking their forgiveness for ruining Margy's life
以及我造成的痛苦 and the pain I've caused.
好吧，如果你关心她 Well, if you cared for her,
甚至爱她 even loved her,
你觉得自己为什么会杀了她呢？ why do you reckon you killed her?
跟她在一起有点像 I could probably describe it like being in prison
坐牢 to some degree.
她不让我有任何朋友 She wouldn't allow me to have any friends,
而我是个热爱交际的人，我必须有朋友啊 and I'm a people person. I got to have my friends.
她善忌又有占有欲 She was very jealous and possessive of my time.
她变得很讨人厌 She had become so hateful.
我甚至不记得那天拿起枪来 I don't even remember picking up the gun that day.
那好像是别人做的事一样 It was like someone else was doing it.
那你为何把尸体留在冰柜里？ So why did you leave the body there?
那看起来好像… It would seem to me that
如果你不想被抓的话 if you didn't want to get caught,
你会想其他的办法弃尸 you'd find some way to dispose of it.
噢，不不不 Oh no, no, no.
我无法那样做 I could never do that.
那非我本意 That was never my intention.
每个人都该好好被埋葬 Everyone deserves a proper burial.
而我… And I was...
我只是在等一个机会可以好好埋葬她 I was just waiting for my chance to give her one.
谢谢，伯尼 Thank you, Bernie.
我问完了 I'll pass the witness.
所以告诉我，伯尼 So help me out here, Bernie.
你和纽珍太太去纽约市的旅途中 On this trip with Mrs. Nugent to New York City,
你坐了头等舱吗？ did you fly first class?
是的，我想我们是坐头等舱没错 Yes, I believe we did.
请告诉我们，头等舱和 Tell us the difference between like the first class seats
飞机后面的经济舱有什么差别？ and the regular old seats in the back of the plane.
我… 我从没坐过头等舱 I... I've never been up there.
我想座位可能更宽敞一点 I'd say the seats are a little larger maybe.
也更舒服 More comfortable.
不是还有人服务什么的吗？ Don't they have people waiting' on you and stuff too, you know?
为你送上精美的食物 I mean, people bringing you fancy food,
提供任何饮料之类的？ and serving you whatever you want to drink and stuff like that?
是的，服务好像有比较好一点 Yes, the service is probably a little better.
喔，所以你喜欢头等舱的待遇咯？ Oh, so you like the first class treatment.
钱能买到的最好的，就是上等的生活方式 First class lifestyle, the best that money can buy.
我是在陪纽珍太太 I was accompanying Mrs. Nugent
她喜欢旅行的时候有那些东西 who usually preferred these things when she traveled.
- 嗯… - 所以 - Mm-hm. - So.
在去纽约的旅行中 Now, on that New York City trip,
这边说你们 it says here that you and Mrs. Nugent
投宿在那个什么… 丽思卡尔顿酒店？ stayed at the...the Ritz Carlton?
那是个中央公园旁的豪华酒店对吗？ That's a fancy hotel near Central Park, isn't it?
是的，我记得我们是住那没错 Yes, I believe that is where we stayed.
这里还说，你们在纽约的时候 It also says here that while you were in New York City,
看了场歌剧 you saw an opera.
还有百老汇音乐剧 And a Broadway play.
好像是叫《比惨世界》 I think it's called "Les Miserables."
是《悲惨世界》 Les Miserable.
你很厉害嘛 That's impressive.
什么？ What?
所以文化对你很重要咯？ So culture is important to you.
何以见得？ In what way?
喔，你好像知道不少花俏的词汇嘛 Well, you seem to know all these fancy words and such.
呃… 刚刚那个并不是非常难… Well, that one's not very difficult.
对你来说不难 Not for you.
你知道所有关于上流社会生活的一切，不是吗？ You know all about the high class life, don't you?
我… 什么… 像什么啊？ I... what... like what?
像是，我不知道，比方说… Like, I don't know, say for instance what...
什么酒搭配鱼比较好呢？ what kind of wine are you supposed to have with fish?
不，我不知… 一般是搭白葡萄酒吧… No, I don't...white usually.
嗯…要让自己这么有文化 Mm-hm. That takes a lot of money
得花不少钱吧，对吗？ to have so much culture, don't it?
去… 享受你如此热爱的 To... to enjoy the finer things in life
更高的生活品质 that you love so much.
丽思酒店、坐头等舱去大城市玩… The ritzy hotels, first class flying off to the big cities.
我的意思是，那得花不少钱 I mean, it takes a lot of money
才能过那种生活，对吧？ to live that way, don't it?
不，我… 如果是我自己的话 No, I... left to my own devices,
我决不会用如此昂贵的方式旅游… I would not have been traveling in such an expensive...
但用别人的钱，你就愿意了啊！ But left to someone else's devices, you were!
而且当你杀了纽珍太太后 And after you killed Mrs. Nugent,
你还是继续花她的钱，不是吗？ you kept on spending her money, didn't you?
花得可不少 A lot of it!
而且如果你没被抓到的话 And if you wouldn't a been caught,
你到现在还会继续花她的钱！ you'd still be spending her money today.
对不对？ Wouldn't you?
对不对！ Wouldn't you?
各位女士先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
在这么多的呈堂证供之后 after listening to all the evidence,
我相信你们会同意 I'm sure that you will agree
被告是个骗子、懦夫 that the defendant is a liar, a coward
还是个背后放枪的小人 and a backshooter.
噢 拜托 Now, come on.
那是一个人能做的 That's got to be about the lowest thing
最低贱的事了，对吧？ a man could ever do, ain't it?
从背后枪杀一个老妇人？ Shoot a little old lady in the back?
连开四枪！ Four times.
我毫不怀疑 There is no doubt in my mind
伯尼·提德是个工于心计的邪恶演员 Bernie Tiede is a calculating evil actor.
九个月来 He fooled a whole town
全镇都被他骗了 for nine months.
如果他能这么做 Now if he can do that,
我不敢想让他留在社会上 there ain't no telling what he'll do
还会做出什么事来 if you let him back on the streets.
那可怜的女人，被冻成冰棍长达九个月 That poor woman stayed frozen stiff for nine whole months.
在一个冰柜里 In a freezer.
得花两天把她解冻 It took two days to thaw her out.
才能好好验尸 Just so they could perform a proper autopsy.
不，不，不，不，不，不 No. No, no, no, no, no.
抱歉，我说不下去了 I'm sorry.
法官大人，律师，陪审团的各位 Your honor, counsel, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
丹尼·巴克·戴维森就是想在庭上 all Danny Buck Davidson wants to do in this trial
让你们相信伯尼是个怪物 is get you to believe that Bernie is some kind of monster.
是个非人的生物 That he is something other than a fellow human being.
看看他，女士先生们 Look at him, ladies and gentlemen.
这里完全没有一点预谋的成分在 There is not one hint of premeditation in this case.
如果有，那完全该是另一套做法 If there was, he'd have done it a lot differently.
他可能得以逃脱 He mighta gotten away with it.
他有想过慢慢地毒死她吗？没有 Did he try to poison her slowly? No.
他有放火烧房子 Did he burn down the house?
然后声称那是意外吗？ 没有 Say it was an accidental fire? No.
他仍知道他做错了 He still knew he done wrong.
他知道总有一天会被发现 He knew he was gonna get found out.
他只是没有勇气 He just didn't have the courage
去自首罢了 to tell on himself.
但就像个优秀的葬礼策划 But like a good funeral director,
他把尸体保存得好好的，好有一天可以安葬她 he preserved the body so that she could have a proper burial.
在那同时，他为很多人做了很多好事 And in the meantime he did a lot of good for a lot of people.
直到他被逮捕 Till he finally got caught.
他就是不像任何一种我听过的怪物 He just doesn't sound like any kind of monster I've ever heard of.
谢谢！ Thank you.
那不是犯罪的借口 That doesn't excuse the crime that was committed.
听着，每个人都形容伯尼是个多么好的家伙 Now look, everybody's describing Bernie Tiede as such a great guy.
"喔！他好棒，他简直是个天使" "Oh, he's so wonderful. He's an angel."
让我告诉你，他是天使没错 Let me tell you, he's an angel alright.
是死亡天使呢 An angel of death.
谢谢！ Thank you.
伯尼·提德，请起立 Bernie Tiede, please rise.
福曼先生，我了解 Mr. Foreman, it is my understanding
陪审团已做出判决 that the jury has reached a verdict.
是的，法官大人 Yes, sir, we have, Your Honor.
有达成一致吗？ Is it unanimous?
是的，大人 Yes, sir.
可以请你读出判决吗？ Would you please read the verdict?
我们陪审团 We, the jury,
认定被告伯尼·提德 find the defendant Bernie Tiede,
谋杀罪名成立 guilty of murder as charged.
他们判了我无期徒刑 They gave me life.
50年内不得假释 I won't even be up for parole for 50 years.
到时我就89岁了 I'll be 89 years old.
不得不承认丹尼·巴克有一手 Danny Buck, you gotta hand it to him.
他就是给大家做了个对比 What he did, is two groups, you know.
一边是过着奢华上流社会生活的 It was the high-falutin' first class livin'
诸多“伯尼” Bernies of the world,
然后另一边是，呃… and then there was the, you know,
“我们挖个洞在后院烤点东西吧” let's dig a hole in the backyard and cook something, you know?
“太冷了再烧个轮胎吧”之类的 Put another tire on the fire, George. I'm cold.
那就是他在法庭上创造的，两个不同的世界 It was just two different worlds he created there
而伯尼不属于他们的世界 and Bernie wasn't of their world.
德克萨斯州比维尔城 麦克康奈尔监狱 顶级安保监狱
这里没你们想的那么糟啦 It's not as bad as you think.
我是合唱团指挥，还教四门课 I'm the choir director, teaching four classes.
我大部分时间都待在手工坊里 I'm in the craft shop most of the day.
我想念自由 I miss my freedom.
唉，我相信你是的，亲爱的 Well, sure you do, hon.
我尽力过好生活 I'm making the best of it.
有很多事还值得去做 Got a lot to live for.
没错，没错 You do. You do.
我想帮助在这里的人 I wanna help people here.
嗯，我要告诉你我做了什么 Hm, well, I have to tell you what I've done.
我写信给所长 I wrote the wardena letter.
没错，我写了 Yeah, I did.
我告诉他要发张工作证给你 I told him that he had to give you a work release
或类似的东西 or something like that
好让你可以在我的葬礼唱歌 so that you could sing at my funeral.
我现在是没生病或什么的 Now, I'm not sick or anything, but now Bernie,
但伯尼你要答应我这件事 you promised me that you would do that.
而我完全同意，他们要你戴手铐脚镣什么的 And I totally mean wear those chains or whatever
如果那让他们好过一点的话… if it made them feel better so...
你真是太贴心了，雷诺拉 That is awful sweet, Lenora.
我很荣幸，但别抱太大的期望 And it would be an honor but don't count on it.
我不觉得他们会无缘无故放我出去 I don't think they're letting me out of here for nothing.
噢！ Oh!
他们一定会的啦，我告诉他你那时只是暂时精神失常 Sure they will. I told him that you went temporarily insane.
反正我们迟早会精神失常 And we're all going insane sooner or later.
我是这么想的 I mean, that's the way I look at it.
欧喔，他在告诉我会客时间快到了 Uh-oh. He's telling me our time is up.
你还在为我祷告 I cannot tell you how much it means to me
这对我的意义无以言表 that I'm still in your prayers.
而我会永远与你同在 And that I'll always be with you.
是的，你知道我们有多爱你 Yes. And you know how much we love you.
而且告诉你，我看了周围这些人啊 And I will tell you, I look around here.
你要照顾好你自己 You need to take care of yourself
要真的很小心哪 and be real careful because I think
因为我觉得这里很危险 this could be a dangerous place.
- 你这么觉得吗？ - 没错 - You think? - I do.
我们过几周会再来 And we'll come back in a couple of weeks.
保重，我爱你 Take care. I love you.
我爱你，宝贝 I love you, baby.
你得好好照顾他 You take care of him.
我不在乎他做了什么 I don't care what he did.
不，我想我在乎 Yes, I do care.
那是错的 It was wrong.
但我相信伯尼如果真心悔改 But I believed that if Bernie were truly sorry for what he did,
并向上帝祈求饶恕 and would ask God's forgiveness,
上帝会原谅他的 God would forgive him.
毕竟，那才是真正重要的 And after all, that's all that really matters.
我会想念他的 I will miss him.
我们都会 All of us will.
玛佳丽·纽珍与其丈夫合葬在 德克萨斯州迦太基镇外的一座小墓园里
在教课和教会活动之余 伯尼·提德大多待在监狱的手工坊里做刺绣 以纪念迦太基近期去世的人
直到上帝召我回天家 I'll never believe
我都不会相信 till the day God calls me home
伯尼杀了纽珍太太 that Bernie Tiede killed Mrs. Nugent.
我就是这么想的 And... and that's just the way I feel.
而我先生说，“黛西，你不该因为” And my husband told me, "Daisy, when you go up there,
法庭上站的是你爱的人 "you don't change your mind if you see some of those people
是你的朋友 "standing out there in the courthouse that you love,
就改变想法 "that's your friends too."
我回说："嘿，就算耶稣也不能动摇我" I said, "Hey, I don't think Jesus could change my mind."
我从一开始就这么觉得了 That's just the way I feel from day one.
而我会一直都这样想 And I will always feel that way.
伯尼是好人 Bernie was a good man.
伯尼有副好心肠 Bernie had a great heart.
这世界需要更多的伯尼 We need more Bernies in this world.
这地方极少发生谋杀 Murderers come along once in a blue moon over here
而且一般都和家庭纠纷有关 and typically, they're family related,
这里都是这样的嘛 I mean, it's just how it works out,
没有离奇的谋杀 we don't have strange killings,
只有家庭成员互看不顺眼 it's just some family member got upset with the other
然后射杀了对方 and shot him, killed him dead,
而且他们知道 and they know they gonna go
自己要去做一阵子的牢 to penitentiary for a while.
甚至现在谋杀庭审也越来越少了 Now we even have less murder trials
因为他们大部分会认罪请求减刑 'cause most of 'em plead out.
所以这事才变成媒体焦点 So this thing becomes a media circus,
全国的人纷至沓来 we got people coming in from all across the United States.
老丹尼·巴克，我们觉得他有点落枕 Old Danny Buck, we caught him with a stiff neck,
他好像得了落枕一样 he... he got kind of stiff neck,
就是脖子有些僵硬 kinda get your neck a little stiff,
他脖子僵直，那会儿他就跟 he got a stiff neck, he was like a pig in shit
猪滚在粪便里一样 when all this was going up.
扯什么鱼该配什么酒 Talking about what wine to drink with fish,
拜托，陪审团那些人吃炸鲶鱼配温啤酒呢！ I mean, those people drink warm beer with fried mudcat
他还想要说… and he's trying to say...
我看了眼陪审团，然后说"喔欧" I took one look at the jury and I said, Uh-oh.
“好胜”老兄，你可玩完了 Scrappy, you ain't gonna do it, buddy.
我说，你真的玩完了 I mean, you ain't gonna do it.
你根本没办法 You don't have enough equipment to bring
让那些人 让那些乱七八糟的 these people outta their dang hovels over there.
天哪，就像是我爸我表兄弟那种人 Jesus, he's my daddy, he's my cousin.
就像，有些人 It's like, some of them people
你都不该让他们踏出自己的郡 shouldn't be allowed out of the county
而我们却把整个庭审都搬过去了 and we took the whole damn trial over there, you know?
我真搞不懂他们在想什么 What are they asking for? I don't get it.
我不懂整个司法体系 I don't get the legal system.
♬ 他把她放在冰柜里 ♬ ♪ He put her in the freezer ♪
♬ 然后关上盖子 ♬ ♪ And pulled down the lid ♪
♬ 甚至没动过它 ♬ ♪ Didn't even move it ♪
♬ 只记得，要插电～ ♬ ♪ Just made sure it was plugged in ♪
♬ 他尽情聚会 ♬ ♪ He gave a lot of parties ♪
♬ 把她冰起来 ♬ ♪ Kept her packed on ice ♪
♬ 没人起疑心 ♬ ♪ No one suspected anything ♪
♬ 因为伯尼人太好啦 ♬ ♪ 'Cause Bernie Was so nice ♪
♬ 喔，伯尼～喔，伯尼 ♬ ♪ Oh, Bernie, oh, Bernie, ♪
♬ 你做了什么 ♬ ♪ What have you done ♪
♬ 你杀了可怜的纽珍太太 ♬ ♪ You killed poor Mrs. Nugent ♪
♬ 却没跑路 ♬ ♪ You never even ran ♪
♬ 喔，伯尼～喔，伯尼 ♬ ♪ Oh, Bernie, oh, Bernie ♪
♬ 你做了什么 ♬ ♪ What have you done ♪
♬ 你杀了可怜的纽珍太太 ♬ ♪ You killed poor Mrs. Nugent ♪
♬ 却没跑路 ♬ ♪ You never even run ♪
♬ 过了好几个月 ♬ ♪ After all those months ♪
♬ 没人见到她的脸 ♬ ♪ No one had seen her face ♪
♬ 警察决定 ♬ ♪ The local law decided ♪
♬ 他们该搜搜她家了 ♬ ♪ They should Search the place ♪
♬ 当搜索结束 ♬ ♪ And when the search that ended ♪
♬ 大家都吓了一跳 ♬ ♪ To everyone's surprise ♪
♬ 他们发现她，被枪杀加冷冻 ♬ ♪ They found her shot and frozen ♪
♬ 是伯尼杀了她 ♬ ♪ As Bernie took her life ♪
♬ 喔，伯尼～喔，伯尼 ♬ ♪ Oh, Bernie, oh, Bernie ♪
♬ 你做了什么 ♬ ♪ What have you done ♪
♬ 你杀了可怜的纽珍太太 ♬ ♪ You killed poor Mrs. Nugent ♪
♬ 却没跑路 ♬ ♪ You never even run ♪
♬ 喔，伯尼～喔，伯尼 ♬ ♪ Oh, Bernie, oh, Bernie ♪
♬ 你做了什么 ♬ ♪ What have you done ♪
♬ 你杀了可怜的纽珍太太 ♬ ♪ You killed poor Mrs. Nugent ♪
♬ 却没跑路 ♬ ♪ And never even run ♪
♬ 你杀了可怜的纽珍太太 ♬ ♪ You killed poor Mrs. Nugent ♪
♬ 却没跑路 ♬ ♪ And you never even run ♪♪
我差点喘不过气来了 I ran out of air on that one.